Wednesday, January 7, 2009

"Butt" Do You Believe In Karma?

I believe in karma. I believe if you are good, good will come to you and if you are bad, know the drill. I have proof. Here's the story:

One morning, I was rushing around trying to make it to my 9:00am hair appointment. Now, I am NOT a morning person, but because of my work schedule, the salon's first appointment of the day was all I could fit into my busy week. So, I get ready, skip breakfast, drive like a maniac, and finally make it to the hair salon by 9:02am. Not to be redundant here, but again, I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.

As I made my way down the walkway to the hair salon's front door, it suddenly swings open and my hairdresser, Queenie (name changed to protect the not so innocent), perched at her desk, says in a very cocky tone (or what my morning self interpreted to be cocky), "YOU'RE LATE!"

Now, I honestly have to say that I don't know what came over me. I mean it. I remember thinking that it was only 9:02am and I didn't have my breakfast and I hate mornings and BAM!
The next thing I knew, I threw my pocketbook and my magazine on the ground, turned around with my back to Queenie, and I MOONED her. Then, I gathered myself together (tucked in the junk in the trunk), picked up my stuff, and marched into the salon, plopping myself down at the hair-washing sink like nothing had happened. Take that Queenie.

Anyhow, this is where karma comes in. Literally, six days after the mad mooning incident (and I do think I was temporarily insane), I was at home in my bedroom getting a pair of socks for my husband who was in a rush to get out the door to go and get his hair cut (I swear this is friggin true). I run down the stairs to bring them to him, slip, and tumble halfway down the steps (about 7) landing on my ass. I was a stunned at first and then was relieved to find that despite such a nasty fall, all of my bones appeared to be in tact. I was just a little roughed up and was sure that I would probably have a couple of bumps and bruises the next day.

As that day progressed, I started feeling really sore and achy. Coincidentally, the body part that hurt me the most was my butt. When I couldn't take it any more, I looked in the full length mirror and low and behold, MY ENTIRE ASS WAS BLACK AND BLUE! and I mean both cheeks! It wasn't pretty and man did it hurt to sit down...for at least a week!

MORAL OF THE STORY: If you act fresh, sooner than later, karma will kick you in the ass........


Jen said...

Sal...I remember that....well not "that" but I remember the story...thanks for making me laugh!!!

queenie said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heather said...

Good thing you graduated Cinco De Mayo, since clearly you are not cut out for the stripper pole (although I have no doubt you would be able to handle the stripper heels)