Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Just Call Me Blanche Deveraux

Yesterday, I wanted to blog about something that was said to me that same morning. But, I was so ticked off in the moment that I decided I should wait a bit and cool off or else my entire blog entry might be laden with "F" bombs (so not like me).

Here's the scenario:

I was on the phone yesterday with a person who said to me, "You (meaning me and the hubby) help so many people. I worry so much about who will be there to take care of you someday." Now, this is not the first time that this person (Fyi...not my Mother) has said this to me and I kind of went off. My reasoning? Well, can there be a more negative statement (plus I didn't like her tone)? Hey, lady!!! Worry about yourself or get a hobby to occupy your time! I am only 39 freakin years old. I live my life for today and am not quite ready for the glue factory just yet. I mean...really!

Plus, I don't appreciate the implication that because I don't have children, I will be screwed when I get old. There are no guarantees in life, my friends. Some people have children who grow up to be wonderful, caring, responsible adults who make their parents proud everyday of their lives. Other people have children who grow up to be selfish bastards or derelicts. Then there are those poor parents who sadly, outlive their children. And still, there are others who have a whole slew of children, only to end up in a nursing home anyway.

Now, I don't want anyone to get the impression that I am anti-children. That is not the case at all. I love kids. I grew up with my nieces and nephews and I love them very much. I'm just trying to say that I respect the decisions that people make in their lives to have children or not to have children and I expect the same respect in return.

So, to all of my friends and family, whatever you decide to do with your lives, I promise you will get no negative bullshit from me. If you want to have twelve kids, then God bless you (but please don't ask me to babysit)! If you want to run away and live in a nudist colony, knock yourself out(just don't forget to put sunscreen on your delicate areas)! And, if you want to become a lesbian pagan priestess, more power to you (thank you Marc)!

Now, I'd better go and make some phone calls. Apparently, I'm going to have to line someone up to take me for my first colonoscopy appointment in 2020. Any volunteers?


Jen said...

Hey Sal....cheers to that!!!!!

Miriam said...

LOL! Did you find anyone for your colonoscopy appointment yet??

Sally said...

So far, I've had no takers...but I'm hopeful!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious rant. I love it.

For the record, I love the Golden Girls.