Thursday, March 26, 2009

I Don't Want No Scrubs

It's been awhile, but it happened again.

I was hit on.

I think some women would have been flattered to find themselves in this situation.

Not me. I was annoyed.

Here's why:


* Never was, never will be, attracted to men whose hair is a homemade shade of "Big Bird" yellow.

* More often than not, I attract men who put the "tappy" in tapioca. This guy = NO EXCEPTION.

* Middle aged men who take the bus....Hmmmm. In the words of Shania Twain, "That don't impress me much."

* Unless you want to go home to Jesus way before your time, don't hit on a woman when you know (A) that she has a
husband and (B) that her husband is sitting six feet away. That just proves that you are as dumb as a stump. Really.

* I HAVE STANDARDS, DAMMIT!!!

* AND I DO NOT LOOK LIKE A HOBBIT!!!

* AND WHAT THE HELL??? WHY ARE MY ADMIRERS ALWAYS BAT-SHIT CRAZY??

* AND WHY, FOR THE LOVE OF PETE, DO THEY NEVER LOOK LIKE GEORGE CLOONEY??



Jeez, I swear. If I wasn't already married, the stress would drive me to join a convent!
Um...Does anyone know of a convent that incorporates high heeled shoes, designer bags, and five star dining as part of their regimen? Never mind.....BAD idea.

3 comments:

H.K. said...

I just hate that type of attention too, it just doesn't feel good when they guy is the total opposite of hotness.

I think the type of convent that you're talking about is called, "Rodeo Drive, Beverly Hills".

justjuliebean said...

In Europe (and Manhattan) adults and even people who own cars ride public transit. It's unfortunate that this country isn't sane like that. I rarely use my car, much preferring my bike, and even an occasional bus, and I love to get hit on by bicyclists. Car drivers? Keep driving on.

Sally said...

justjuliebean,

I agree that public transit is the way to get around in a great city that offers a comprehensive system. However, where I live, that is definitely not the case. If I ever want to see civilization again, I have to drive my happy ass there. And, if I want to use my bike, I have to put it in the back of my husband's truck and bring it to where I want to start riding. Otherwise, I will be riding in the wilderness and have to eat tree bark to survive ;)

Thanks for reading!!