Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Say It Ain't So!

Everywhere I turn, people are mocking me.

Apparently, that scary Wayne Newton is coming to Rhode Island THIS FRIDAY to do his girdle jig for the Ocean State seniors. I want to publicly thank all of you who have called and/or e-mailed to warn me about this (you know who you are).

And, FYI, on the day of his big local show, I'm not taking any chances. I plan to barricade myself in the house.......taser by my side. Mr. Vegas and his botoxed lips come anywhere near me and I swear, I'll melt his face off.

Dunkashane that, Figgy Newton*.

*(For those of you who don't know about my previous Wayne Newton experience, please see my archived February post entitled "Wayne, Wayne, Go Away.")

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