Thursday, May 28, 2009

E=MC Dork

For the past three weeks, I have been dealing with a MEGA-ASS at work.

He called our company to find out if we would work for his company as a vendor. In these economic times, we will not turn work away, even if that means having to deal with the most condescending bastard known to mankind.

I should have known dealing with him would be torture when he came in for our first meeting and demanded that we, as a company, be put through a ridiculously long interview. I wanted to day, "Dude. We didn't call you. You called us. And we already have jobs. How about you stick that questionnaire up your pasty white patooty?"

But, being the consummate professionals (stop laughing, please), we humored him.

We fed him with all of the standard information that he wanted about our policies and quality control standards.

AND THEN....He totally pissed me right the frick off when he asked, "Does your company employ any illegal aliens?"

First of all, we are not fans of prison cuisine, nor do we enjoy peeing in groups. So, that's a NO. We don't and we NEVER would. Duh.

And second, if we did, did he really think we would tell him?

So, in my most professional demeanor, I responded, "Yeah. Lupe and Paco thought you were INS. They're hiding out in the back room."

Let's just say that we can add him to the list of people who don't think I'm at all funny.

Whatever, Dorkmeister.


happyfunpants said...

*I* am proud to say that I'm not involved in the group that thinks that you're not funny.

Because, my dear, you are a riot. :) And I'm not just saying that because I'm an illegal alien.

Sally said...

Ms. Pants,
Thank you so much. I feel the same about you....

H.K. said...

You know what's creepy? Is that I started laughing and then I read stop laughing please, which of course made me laugh harder.

I'm sure Paco & Lupe must love working with you!