What I learned this weekend:
1. Unless you want your patio table to look like this, never leave your patio umbrella open on a windy day:
2. Sometimes friends agree to disagree. And that is perfectly OK.
3. Other times, one party is totally wrong (and completely ignorant and hurtful) and deserves to be bitch slapped.
4. The person who invented coffee flavored tequila is a genius.
5. You should be appreciative of your Mother on MORE than ONE day a year. She was in labor with you FOREVER, had to sit on a rubber donut for two weeks after you were born, and wiped your butt every time you pitched a loaf. That is unconditional love, people.
6. If you dry heave when you see a person holding a dog leash in one hand (dog attached, of course) and a plastic bag containing hot steaming dog poo in the other, you should return the canine adoption forms and buy yourself a stuffed dog instead.