Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Say What You Mean To Say

I am all for individuality and self-expression.

BUT, I would like to object to SOME of those people who put their initials on their vanity license plates and drive around like they are all that AND a bag of chips.

You want examples?

Here you go:

*I know a gentleman whose name is Anthony. His middle name starts with an "S" and his last name starts with an "S." He happens to be pretty smart. So, he DOES NOT drive around with a license plate that says "ASS."

You see what I'm getting at here, right?

Just in case you don't, here is another one:

*I have a friend named Helen. Her middle name starts with an "O" and her last name starts with an "R." Put that on a license plate, and you have every mischievous kid giggling at the site of the woman that drives the "whore" mobile.

That's just human nature, people. Don't blame me.

So now here's my best REAL LIFE example....The one that inspired this blog entry.

If you are this guy, WHAT in the love of Pete were you thinking when you went to the DMV to apply for this? I mean, REALLY?

Sir, let me just say that I am sure you are very proud of who you are. However, your initials, subliminally flashing past the eyes of innocent passers-by, conjure up the images of yucky things that we learned about in health class! You know...like Chlamydia, Genital Warts, and Herpes Simplex 10. Dude. Puh-leeze.....

You really should make the world a better place and turn that plate in.


Unless you happen to be a health teacher and you're trying to remind all of those hormonal teens to keep it in their shorts.

If that is the case, I take it back and say BRAVO to you! Job well done! Way to scare em' straight!!


H.K. said...

I used to always wanted to put my initials on the driver's license plate, until a friend of mine snickered and said that my initials would be HO, the ghetto terminology for whore.

Her initials weren't great either, it's EW as in Ewwww!

Sally said...

After I got married, my initials became SAC....slang for a man's scrotum. Definitely not putting that on my license plate.

happyfunpants said...

Too funny!

We just had a lot of press about a lady in Boulder, CO who wanted to show the world how much she loved tofu.

So her license plate that she wanted was: ILVTOFU which, of course, was declined. Turns out more people love to f*** than tofu. :)

Sally said...

Hmmm...Given the choice, I'd pass on the tofu, too. Just saying...

Heather said...

There is a car that belongs to a man who lives on my street with the plate "MAFIA". Talk about asking for it...No sir, officer, that foul smell is not a body decaying in my trunk - I SWEAR!