This morning, I was really thinking about having toast for breakfast.
Upon further consideration (finding that my bread was growing furry, blue velvet), I chose to feast on two turkey sausages, two eggs whites, and a cup of decaf green tea, instead.
Because I am a multitasker, I decided to take my prepared breakfast upstairs (where my computer is), so that I could eat while checking my emails.
As I rushed up the stairs, one of the sausages rolled off of my plate and onto the hardwood step.
At that moment, I had a decision to make. So I pondered aloud, "Sally, you have no pets and no children. Therefore, it is probable that no one or nothing has puked, pissed, or pooped on the exact spot where that sausage lies."
And so, I did what any other hungry girl would do. I picked the sausage up, put it back on my plate, and made my way to my desk where I gobbled it up.
And it was yummy.
But just so you know, I did wipe up the sausage residue that was on my stair.....with my sock.
Sometimes, I am just so damn fancy.