Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Unless You're George Clooney, Step Away From The Speedo

Hubby and I are buying a commercial property in which to move our business. We were supposed to sign all of the paperwork and take possession of our new space next week, on June 30Th. However, because of a legal glitch, we now have to wait a couple of weeks longer.

Today, I called my lawyer to ask him some questions about our closing and the following COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE conversation (on my part) ensued:

Me: Hi John (name changed to protect my ass). How are you?

Lawyer: I'm fine, Sally. What's up?

Me: I just wanted to know if you've rescheduled our closing date. Paul and I are anxious to begin renovations at our new place. We'd like to move as soon as possible.

Lawyer: Well, I'm leaving for my vacation this Friday. So, I'm hoping we'll close the second week in July.

Me: OK. That's fine. I just wanted an idea of where we stand......So, I know it's none of my business. But, where are you going on vacation?

Lawyer: Myrtle Beach.

Me: Oh, that's nice! Well, I hope the weather will be nice for you.....and I hope you'll be wearing an appropriate bathing suit on the beach because there is nothing worse than a man walking around in a nasty suit that accentuates his privates. Ick.

(Oh.Yes.I.Did.)

John: *chuckle, chuckle* You can rest assured. I won't be wearing one of those.

Me: On behalf of women everywhere, I THANK YOU.

John: I'll call you when I get back.

Me: Alrighty, then. Bye!

Upon hanging up the phone, I realized that I complain an awful lot about my Mother not having a mouth filter.

And yet, I just told my lawyer, THE MAN I PAY FOR LEGAL COUNCIL, not to showcase his nads in a banana hammock.

Damn. The apple sure doesn't fall far from the tree, does it?

5 comments:

Hanlie said...

You are your mother's daughter! Thank you for sending me to bed with a big fat smile on my face!

Sally said...

Hanlie,

Thank you for not thinking that I am a nutjob ;)

My Fat To Thin Journey said...

Hey Sally, your blog was recommended, and how glad am i that i joined. I have read your latest blog updates and they are hilarious, keep them coming :)

Caley

My Fat To Thin Journey said...

Hey Sally, your blog was recommended, and how glad am i that i joined. I have read your latest blog updates and they are hilarious, keep them coming :)

Caley

Sally said...

Caley,

Thank you so much for reading!