Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Weight A Minute!
I did Pilates last night for the first time EVER. This experience inspired me to formulate the following list:
You know you are REALLY out of shape when:
1. You find yourself praying mercilessly during the entire workout...as in, "Help me, Jesus." and "Lord, PLEASE save me from the wrath of this soulless stick figure (that would be the instructor, people)."
2. The fitness instructor tells you to step it up JUST ONE MORE notch and as you are gasping for breath you think, "Screw you, bitch."
3. You find yourself giving said fitness instructor the finger when she's not looking (OK, more than once...But, she never caught me).
4. After exactly 56 minutes of Pilates, your face is the exact same color as that organic tomato that is sitting on your windowsill.
5. The morning after your workout, the only words you can mutter when you get out of bed are, "Ow, Ow, Ow."