Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Weight A Minute!


I did Pilates last night for the first time EVER. This experience inspired me to formulate the following list:

You know you are REALLY out of shape when:

1. You find yourself praying mercilessly during the entire workout...as in, "Help me, Jesus." and "Lord, PLEASE save me from the wrath of this soulless stick figure (that would be the instructor, people)."

2. The fitness instructor tells you to step it up JUST ONE MORE notch and as you are gasping for breath you think, "Screw you, bitch."

3. You find yourself giving said fitness instructor the finger when she's not looking (OK, more than once...But, she never caught me).

4. After exactly 56 minutes of Pilates, your face is the exact same color as that organic tomato that is sitting on your windowsill.

5. The morning after your workout, the only words you can mutter when you get out of bed are, "Ow, Ow, Ow."

That's me.

Today.

Every.Time.I.Take.A.Friggin.Step.

10 comments:

Watching and Weighting said...

Welcome to the heinous-yet-addictive world of pilates! You'll learn to LOVE it!!

JODI said...

hahaha, i love this cartoon! my ob/gyn has a ton on the ceilings in his office (like focusing on these will really make us forget about what he's doing DOWN there)... ;)

i actually miss taking pilates... :(

MoraPiggy said...

I've so been there, more than once.
You got through it and didn't quit! Good for you.

Rapunzel said...

Ugh! Sounds like torture but everyone (everyone but me, it seems) says Pilates is amazing! Keep us posted on the (painful) progress.

*Bitch Cakes* said...

I thought I would die the first time I attempted the spine articulations - did you do those? For months, I would get the most debilitating charlie horse in my right hamstring that I would immediately collapse to the ground. I've been doing the class for a year and a half now and only *recently* made significant improvements. It's still a challenge, but it feels so good when you get it right and I find just laying there and being forced to pay attention to my body, breathing and movements is very relaxing. (I hope you give it another try!)

starfish264 said...

I find normal pilates an absolute bitch, but my physio insists I do some, so I'm trying to get into swiss ball pilates instead - some how rolling around on the floor with a giant rubber ball (and occasionally falling off it) is far more fun. :o)

there's an irony here you know - my check word to post this comment is panter - did "they" know we were talking exercise???

Hanlie said...

I know! It's fabulous, isn't it? I count the day a total waste if I don't have a sore muscle somewhere...

Sally said...

Thanks for the encouragement, ladies. And even though I am in pain, I am not going to stop. I've committed to Pilates 3 days a week and I'm riding my bike 2 days a week (unless it rains). On bad weather days, it's cardio indoors. The pursuit for a smaller ass continues....

H.K. said...

I guess you don't want to hear this, but the pain usually gets worse two days after the work out! Just thought you should know.

Sally said...

H.K.,
OH, I KNOW. Today my stomach muscles are screeeeaming for help.