I went to Weight Watchers this morning. I've gained three pounds since the last time I was there, two months ago. Crap.
But on a positive note, I've also gained some motivation, some new recipes, and some much needed camaraderie. I don't care what anyone says. It's is much easier to conform to a healthy lifestyle when you know that you are not "going it alone." So, if you are one of those naturally skinny bitches who eats whatever falls off the ice cream truck and still looks like a beanpole, move the frig on. I can't be your friend right now. Sorry.
Anyway, it's a freakin good thing that I hopped back on the Weight Watchers' wagon this morning. Because, when I got home from work today, I opened the Day 7 present from the birthday basket that my friends, Lou and Linda, gave me. And look at what birthday surprise awaited:
Uh-huh. A big nasty stick of compressed, congealed pork parts.
*blech...that's me barfing*
Now, because I am a Weight Watcher (yes, I am) and my meat log (God, I never thought I'd utter those words) probably contains 10,724 points and 7,579 grams of saturated fat per serving, I would NEVER even attempt to taste it. Well, that plus I want to throw up every time I see meat logs, hot dogs, sausages, etc...I don't know. Is it me? Or, is there something very wrong with compounding processed meat into the shape of a phallic symbol? Gross.
Anywho, please know that while I won't be eating this utterly disgusting sausage stick, I think I TOTALLY found a great use for it.
You see, when hubby and I got home from work this evening, this was waiting for us in the driveway:
No. You are not seeing things. And yes, it is a large steaming pile of dog poo.
FYI, I do not own any dogs.
My douchebag neighbor, who is the douche-iest douchebag EVER, does. Oh, did I mention that he is a cardholder of The Douchebag Society? Actually, he's not only a member. He's also their president. But, I digress.
Anyhow, said neighbor (the D.B) is an asswipe who completely lacks social skills. And he obviously thinks that the Leash Law doesn't apply to his stupid ass. So, I was thinking that I could utilize my Birthday Sausage Stick to beat the crap out of him (pun intended) as I force him to clean the ca-ca from my front yard.
Thank you very much for the weapon, Lou and Linda.
Oh, and I was wondering...Does whacking my douchebag neighbor around with a sausage stick gain me any Weight Watchers' activity points??