Yesterday's conversation with Hubby...that totally sent me over the edge:
Hubby: I need to tell you something.
Hubby: Promise you won't get mad.
Me: I won't get mad (fingers crossed behind my back).
Me: FINE. I promise (fingers still crossed behind my back so it doesn't count).
Hubby: Um. My face hurts.
Me: Excuse me?
Hubby: The left side of my face....it hurts.
Me: What do you mean it HURTS?
Hubby: The entire left side of my face hurts, from my forehead to my jaw...It really hurts.
Me: Um. Can you be more specific?
Hubby: It hurts! And it's numb in some places. And that's not all. My left arm really hurts, too.
Me: ( panic rising in my throat) WHAT? How long has it been hurting?
Hubby: Four days....
Me: WHAT?! FOUR DAYS?! ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS?! FOUR DAYS?! AND YOU'RE TELLING ME NOW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! YOU COULD BE HAVING A STROKE, A HEART ATTACH, OR WHO THE HELL KNOWS WHAT ELSE! ARE YOU COMPLETELY INSANE, IGNORING THAT SHIT?! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? SERIOUSLY, PAUL! THIS IS NO FREAKIN JOKE! UGHHH!
Hubby: You're mad. You said you wouldn't get mad.
Me: Oh.My.God! I am not mad! I am furious! I need to call the doctor RIGHT NOW (running to the phone to call the doctor)! *grumble, grumble, huff, puff, uttering f-bombs under my breath*
ONE HOUR LATER:Hubby visits the doctor who sends him for a CT scan immediately.
TWO HOURS LATER:We are still waiting for the test results in the waiting room of a frigid clinic. I am hungry, cold, and WORRIED.
THREE HOURS LATER:The doctor tells Hubs that because he has developed a rash on his face, the cause of said mystery illness is probably viral (or perhaps an allergic reaction). He is not dying and a precautionary course of antibiotics was prescribed (whew).
For the record, the doctor also said that Hubs' CT scan was normal. Apparently, that means that he still has all of his marbles.
I beg to differ.
Moral of the Story:
*Men. You can't live with em'. You can't bury them in the backyard and collect the insurance money.