Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Rico And Charlie...Best Friends Forever

What I did in Vegas....Take 2.

Last Monday, on day 2 of our Vegas Extravaganza, Hubs and I met Lou and Linda for breakfast and then we headed to the Fashion Show Mall. I made plans for the four of us to have dinner at the SW Steakhouse (at the Wynn Resort) that evening and Lou needed to buy some pants. Apparently, Mr. Lou was planning to walk around barlicky bare-assed all week or something because he left all of his pants at home. But, whatever.

Anywho, we meandered over to the mall, bought the Exhibitionist some damn pants and ended up having lunch at a chocolate shop. Seriously. We ate chocolate for lunch and washed it down with iced tea. That's what I call food for the soul, people!

We bought a box of Ethel M's Pecan Brittle and ate some everyday as a pre-breakfast appetizer. Forgive me Weight Watchers. I knew not what I was doing to my ass (Oh, alright....I knew exactly what I was doing).

After the boys (Lou and Hubs) bought a bazillion dollars worth of clothing at the Tommy Bahama store, we went back to the hotel, changed into our bathing suits, and headed to the pool.

Since we were apparently so into the healthy eating, we decided to indulge in a little afternoon snack while splashing about. We had already indulged in a little dairy, you know...because the chocolate was made with milk. So, now we decided that a little something from the fruit food group would be a wise choice. Observe:

WHAT? Hubby and I had lime in our Margaritas! Lou and Linda had Raspberry Mudslides! That counts as fruit, right?

Oh and I'm sorry. But, I just have to take a brief moment to point out that my boobs look absolutely stunning in this picture. Don't they? And FYI, to all of you Vegas Whores (of which there were many)....They are REAL and they are fabulous (Remember that Terry Hatcher episode on Seinfeld?)! Thank.You.Very.Much.

Sorry for the digression.

Anywho, that was how we spent the rest of our afternoon...floating around the lovely Wynn resort pool and...um...having fruit. Yeah, that's right...several servings of fruit....for each of us....Yep, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Now, something you may or may not know about Lou is that he can AND WILL talk a dog off a meat wagon. Seriously. He can sell ice cubes to Eskimos. He can sell you some swamp land down in the Everglades. I am soooo not kidding. And this day, he basically wandered around the pool talking to everyone and anyone who would engage him in conversation.

Some people swam away from us when they saw Lou coming. They were like, "Um, we can't be your friend because our flight leaves in 10 minutes and holy crap...we're getting the eff away from you, crazy bald guy!" But then we made nice with some lovely people from Vancouver, Canada, who actually followed us from the shady side of the pool to the sunny side of the pool. They were not ascared of crazy Lou at all! Of course, I'm sure it didn't hurt that the Hubby bought them a round of alcoholic beverages!

Hey, nothing says friendship like Raspberry Mudslides, people!

Anyway, these are our new friends:
Topping the heap of hotties is Yumi.
Second row (left to right) is Linda and me.
Bottom row (left to right) is Tracy and Judi.
*Judi looks like she's naked in this picture. But, I swear to her whole family, SHE HAD A BATHING SUIT ON! HONEST!

The thing about making friends on vacation is that Lou is like a cat. You know how stray cats keep coming around when you feed them? Yeah, well Yumi, Tracy, and Judi better watch their backs because it's only a matter of time before Crazy Bald Guy ends up crossing the border into Canada and sleeping on their couches.

Now, we also met Judi's husband at the pool who was kind of quiet but apparently enjoys a good Mai Tai. He and Judy work together (I feel your pain, sister!).

And we met another friend of the Vancouver Posse, named Randy. Apparently, Randy has a brother named Rick that looks just like Lou! And he was supposed to email me a picture of him. But, he hasn't, yet. Because he is probably too busy counting his Vegas loot since the girls said that he was the BIG WINNER of the group.

And before you ask, I did not win any money.

I didn't lose my shirt. But, I did come home with short sleeves, if you know what I mean.

However, if I had been a big winner like to the tune of like SIX THOUSAND DOLLARS (You listening, Randy?), I totally would have bought my friends new Coach pocketbooks. Just sayin.

After spending the afternoon by the pool with our new peeps, we went to our rooms and got gussied up for dinner at the fancy schmancy SW Steakhouse (where we finally ate some respectable food).

Dinner was fab.

But what was more amazing than the lovely meal that we collectively enjoyed, was the fact that a simple pre-dinner shower and a change of clothing magically turned Lou and Paul into:

Rico Suave & Charlie Harper

Seriously. Don't their shirts just make you want to sing this?

I know! Right?!

Anyway, after a long dinner, Rico was feeling the wine:

And Charlie Harper followed suit:

You got it, dudes! Those are two wild and crazy guys! Whatever...

After dinner, Rico Suave and the Wifey went to bed.

Carlie Harper, perked up a bit by the sound of people screaming at a roulette table, decided to try his hand at red and black. And, I headed for the slots (until 3 am).

And for the record, I said slots, not sluts.

I know it's Vegas. But, I am not that kind of girl.

Stay Tuned For Tomorrow's Episode: What The Hell Is That Scale Doing In My Bathroom, Steve Wynn?


Heather said...

Sal, my boobs always look fabulous in the water, too! I swear if they looked that good out of the water, my life would be complete! LOL

MoraPiggy said...

Love reading your posts, you're alwasy a hoot.

*Bitch Cakes* said...

"They're real and they're SPECTACULAR" (I'm a bit of a Seinfeld nerd) And now I wonder how great my boobs would look in water. Thanks for the idea!

PS That totally counts for dairy and fruit when you're on vacation. xo