On my way to work this morning, the hubby called me and asked me to stop at Dunkin Donuts to buy him a bottle of plain milk (to wash down his damn raspberry danish, but that's another story). So, I stopped at the DD near work and went inside to make his purchase because the drive thru line was just WAY too long.
When I got to the counter, the coffee wench asked me what I wanted and I said, "Just a plain milk, please." Did you get that? I said, JUST (as in ONLY) A PLAIN MILK, PLEASE. To which she responded, "Would you like a donut or a muffin with that?"
So, I spoke a little slower, "No thanks. Just a plain milk will do it." To which the obviously hearing impaired coffee wench responded, "Would you like a coffee or iced coffee with that?"
I am so far from being a morning person and oh my freaking word this bitch was really making me want to hurt her. Seriously, I wanted to stuff a French Cruller down her pie hole just to keep her from talking to me one more time. But, I kept the farce of composure going and replied, "Nope. Just the milk."
Her final response:
"That's unusual. Not many people start their day with milk." To which I answered, "The milk's for my husband. I start my mornings with tequila." *insert blank stare from coffee wench here*
Clearly, I can add her to the ever growing list of people who don't think I'm at all funny.