Friday, September 25, 2009

"Be Back In Two Minutes And Two Seconds."---Love Connection

One thing about having a blog?

People have become ascared of me.


All of a sudden, my friends and family seem paranoid. They're afraid to make a move in front of me because they don't want to end up being the subject of my blog.

Let me give you an example.

A few weeks ago, Hubs and I had dinner at a local joint where our friend Lisa is a waitress. We hadn't seen her in a few weeks and this was the first time in a long while that we had a chance to "catch up." She asked us how we were doing and we told her about what was going on in our lives. And then, we asked her how she was. She told us that she and her boyfriend of many years were having some difficulties and it looked like the end of their relationship was inevitable.

I felt sad for Lisa because I knew she had a lot of time invested in that relationship. But, I also knew that she would be fine. She is strong, hard working, spiritual, and seriously one of the nicest people I know.

She ended the conversation by asking us to say a prayer for her. And I told her that I wished nothing but peace for her and I just knew in my heart that she would be OK.

Fast forward to yesterday...

Again, Hubs and I went to the restaurant to have dinner and see Lisa.

When we sat down at our table, she came right over and gave us big hugs and kisses. And she looked fantastic! Honestly, she was glowing!

I asked her how she was and she told me that she ended her relationship (Mr. Not So Wonderful moved out of her home) and felt great. She said she "had her moments" when she missed him. But, she knew in her heart that he was just way too negative a person to be in her life forever.

When I saw her eyes welling up as she described the end of her ten year relationship, this conversation ensued:

Me: Lisa. You are going to be fine. And you know what they say! When one door closes, another one opens! That means you had to end your relationship with Joe in order to make room for George Clooney!

Lisa: Ummmm...well....George Clooney doesn't do it for me.

Me: Then who does?

Lisa: You're going to laugh.

Me: I'm not going to laugh.

Lisa: *LONG PAUSE* (a tad bit worried about my upcoming response) Oh, alright....I kind of have a "thing" for Chuck Woolery.

Me: Bahahahahahahaha!!!! (Yes, I did. But she said CHUCK WOOLERY!!) Chuck Woolery? Like the eighty bazillion year old Chuck Woolery from the 1980's Love Connection game show???


Seriously? This freakin Chuck Woolery??


Me: Bahahahahaha!!! (trying, but not very well, to calm myself down) So, NOT George Clooney? NOT Keanu Reeves? NOT Hugh Jackman? Not Brad Pitt? But, CHUCK WOOLERY? Dude! My mother likes Chuck Woolery....And she's seventy-eight!

Lisa: Well, your mother has good taste then! I have to go get your food. My buzzer is going off.

Two minutes pass....Lisa comes back to the table....with my dinner....that hopefully she did not spit in....

: All I can say is this conversation better not end up on your blog!

Me: Um...OK.

WHAT? I had my fingers crossed!


Anonymous said...

Cruel to all...yet always funny!!!

Hanlie said...

I'm sure Chuck would be happy about this!

Sally said...

Not cruel. Truthful!
She said CHUCK WOOLERY!!!!
Hahahahaha :)

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

And I don't want to go out to dinner with you cuz you're husband will call me a douchebag... and then you'll write about it.

Anonymous said...

Sally! You are tooo funny!!!! I love your blog!

Linda (Trophy Head's Wife)

Sally said...


He would never call you that!

But after we left you, he would say, "Man, your friend Jack is one skinny S.O.B."


Blasé said...

It's all about having those fingers crossed...yes-sir-ree!

Heather said...

She can have Chuck! That leaves George free for me when he comes to his senses and dumps his bimbo du jour....