Friday, October 30, 2009

An Ass For Every Seat

I have been told that I can talk a dog off a meat wagon.

I have been told that I sometimes lack a mouth filter.

I have been told that I talk WAY too much.

Hey, what can I say? I'm a talker. So sue me.

But sometimes, on those ultra rare occasions, even I am at a loss for words.

Like yesterday, when I saw this personal ad in my local newspaper (Step away from the cream donut and pay attention...Blech!):



Dudes! What can I say?

I mean...holy crap...to put himself out there like that! Man this guy's got BIG ONES! Sure, they may be leaking and oozing mysterious liquids. But make no mistake about it, they're huge!

Ewwwwww!

Oh, well.

You know....When referring to relationships, my father-in-law's favorite saying is: There's an ass for every seat. Translation: There is someone for everyone.

And since love is a basic need for all of mankind, I sincerely hope that Mr. Drippy Balls finds his love connection. Seriously.

PS. Interested in submitting an inquiry to Mr. Drippy Balls? Contact me and I will give you the e-mail address and phone number of my local paper. Hey...Who am I to stand between true love?

P.S.S. If you ARE interested in Mr. Drippy Balls, please be sure to take note of the last part of his ad which states that the relationship he's looking for may "possibly lead to something serious." Cuz if you're not careful, that something serious may lead you to become a citizen of Drippytown, too. Just saying....

5 comments:

Watching and Weighting said...

hahaha! 'citizen of driptown' YEEEEEEEEEESSSHHHHHH!!!!!!

whatever next!? x

Anonymous said...

Marc Munroe Dion


If this guy's peaches are rotten, then he ought to specifically say in his ad that he needs a woman who has, shall we say, a slaughterhouse in her pants...like goes to like

Sally said...

OK, Marc? You are grosser than me.

Anonymous said...

Marc Munroe Dion
You said "leaking and oozing mysterious fluids," and I'm gross? Check yourself, best lady!
LMAO

H.K. said...

Well...at least he was honest? My friend went on one date with a guy who had to tell her what his measurements were...it was freakishly small for a man over 6'3. Think of a man pinkie (sorry for the visual)

There was no second date and I feel like telling the guy if you ever want a second date with anyone w/hold the measurement talk!