I swear. The older I get, the more my sense of humor resembles that of a thirteen year old boy.
This weekend, the Hubby and I went to two birthday parties. At one of them, there was this middle aged biker chick who was dancing like she'd lost her stripper pole but still expected dudes to shove dollar bills down her crotch.
Seriously, when you looked in her direction, all you could see was a world wind of boobage and Bon Jovi hair gyrating to the sounds of Bobby Brown (Crack is whack!) on the dance floor (80's music! What can I say? The birthday boy turned 40!).
Anywho, I love to dance. So, I was up there "getting jiggy with it" with the rest of them, while the Hubby hung out with some family members and babysat my purse.
After dancing for awhile and sweating my arse off, I ran over to the Hubby and asked him to get me a cold drink. Upon returning from the bar, he was off and running with this doozy of a conversation:
Hubby: Um. Are you going to dance some more?
Me: (sipping my soda....nodding yes)
Hubby: Do yourself a favor. Don't dance near that crazy lady over there. People are going to think you're with her.
Me: What crazy lady?
Hubby: That one (pointing nonchalantly). The one that's dancing like a HOSE MONSTER.
Me: (laughing uncontrollably like the aforementioned thirteen year old boy)Hahahaha....Hahahaha....Hahahaha....HOSE MONSTER....Hahahaha....I haven't heard that in years! Since I was in high school, I think! Hahahaha....
Hubby: Well, I'm just saying. You don't want people to think you're with her.
Me: Uh-huh. Thanks for the warning (guzzling my soda).
Hubby: (smiling) No problem. I'm just making sure that you don't get labelled a HOSE MONSTER by association.
***Addendum: For the definition of a Hose Monster, click HERE.