By now, y'all probably know that I live in Rhode Island.
Otherwise known as the Ocean State, Little Rhody is probably one of the most beautiful places to live.....IN THE SPRING, SUMMER, AND FALL.
But, in the winter? It seriously sucks ass.
Hmmm...I know it's not appropriate to generalize. So, let me reiterate that.
IN MY OPINION, Rhode Island Winter's suck major ass...especially once the friggin snow starts falling.
I'm sure y'all heard about the first major snowstorm that hit New England this weekend, right? Yeah...Well, over at my house, the grand total of snowfall? An UNGODLY 22 inches, people. And while all of the diehards are all Oh it's so pretty! We're going to have a "White Christmas" after all!
I'm all like Son-of-a-bitch, if Bing Crosby was alive I'd hunt his happy ass down and bludgeon him to a pulp with my snow shovel.
Eff the snow. Eff my frozen thighs after four hours of cleaning the wretched snow. Eff the boogers that froze to my face as I was pushing that mofo snow blower through waist high drifts of snow. And eff those family members who never offered to help us...especially during an effing BLIZZARD, even though we have endlessly helped them. I hope Santa brings them diarrhea for Christmas.
Sorry, peeps. Once my fingers thaw and my nose unreddens,I will get back into the Christmas spirit. I promise.
But for now, I'll leave you with some pics of what HELL REALLY LOOKS LIKE:
Ho, ho, ho?! My frostbitten ass...