Friday, December 11, 2009

Rat On Your Relatives And Win A Prize!



Happy Friday, friends! As you can can tell from the e-mail that George sent me above, he and I are really getting into the holiday spirit! Can you believe that Christmas is only two weeks away? Holy crap!

So yesterday, I told my friend Heather that one of my holiday plans is to publicly "out" anyone who gives me a shitty Christmas gift this year...right here on this blog. I'm hoping that this will deter people from giving me crap...like the time that I got a white, one-piece pajama jumpsuit thingy with a tomato sauce stain on the boob. Seriously, Snake Lady! You really couldn't put your meatball sandwich down while you were wrapping my gift, you whore?!

OK dudes! Now it's your turn. I want you to humor me. Tis the season for sharing, right? So, I want you to fess up and tell me:

What is the shittiest present you've ever received?

And because I am a giver, I'll be entering all commenters into a drawing (winners chosen scientifically at random) to win ONE OF THREE large Yankee Candle jars! WOW WEE!!! I love free stuff, don't you??

Please note that all three winners will be announced on Friday, January 1st! Why January 1st, you ask? Because that is the one year anniversary of this blog! OMG! Can you even believe that you've been listening to me ramble my ass off for a whole freakin year? Um...HELLO? You're still listening, right?

So get cracking, people! Spill those beans and win a prize!

(There's nothing like bribery to get people to talk....)

71 comments:

cmoursler said...

okay, the shittiest present I ever recieved was a mohair turqoise sweater with puffy three quarter sleeves, a giant sailor collar and a gargantuan fake plastic turquois gem stuck dead center in the chestal area. I was seventeen, It was given by the nicest lady...( who has vision problems) She asked me if I like it..I said " I love it..' and put it on and wore it the rest of the party. I really liked her. She was a nice lady...
I took it home and threw it away.

CINDER said...

I think my worst has to be the used sex game and lube samples that a certain family memeber gave me and my husband- it was one of those card/favor games well they took the card and put them into a sachet and along with this they included sever "sample" lubes (hello not even a new, full bottle?) HA- gross- for sure in the trash- PS they are on my hubbys side.... needless to say I have stopped putting a lot of thought into their gifts....who does this?

Anonymous said...

My worst gift was a full outfit. Now keep in mind I was in my mid 20s....

Cream coloured wool sweater with huge, strategically placed, truly ugly cabbage roses. Raspberry polyester pants with a SEWN SEAM down the front. A 'darling' little shirt of custard yellow with hot pink and glow in the dark blue paisley bits-- and not just a few of them, it was covered in this hideous print. The BOOTS to match were granny boots with rubber nubbies all over. Because of my relationship (very close blood relation, about as close as it gets)with this person, I had to try it on. I almost cried. It was worse than the brown polyester suit with the matching orange lamee (there is no accented e available here, substituted two e's) shirt-- I have brown hair, it made me look like tree bark.

DO I WIN?? HUH HUH HUH?? Aw come on!

Barb

BippyMama in Medford said...

The shittiest present I received was a Weight Watchers cookbook from my OWN MOTHER. What is shitty about this you ask? Well, two things:

1. I was 8 months pregnant when she gave it to me.

2. She said to me AND I QUOTE: "You'll need this when that baby comes."

BippyMama said...

BTW, have I mentioned how much I LOVE THIS POST? There should be a holiday where we just go and publicly embarrass the shit out of people who give us crappy gifts, even if we share DNA with these folks. Fucking WW cookbook...WHILE PREGNANT!!!!

Hanlie said...

A good friend of mine gave me an awful beaded bracelet with a set of matching earrings... Not only did I not like it, but the bracelet ripped my one of my favorite tops!

BippyMama said...

And did I mention that this pregnancy was complete HELL for me? Two ER visits, one where I passed a KIDNEY STONE, plus I had sciatica down both my legs and had to go out on partial disability, but all my mother could say was that I was that I NEEDED Weight Watchers?

Jen said...

Well, There are many and Sally has shared in many laughs but as suggested by my sister the worst one was when my mother-inlaw hand crocheted hats for all.....and not seeing us in a looong time she must have forgot what our head sizes were. We all got the ugliest hat and mine looked like a beret or the top of a condom!!! heheheheheee We have a photo that I must dig out and post!!!!

Maura said...

The worst gift I've ever been given was a gym membership...from my mother-in-law! Thanks "Mom", hint taken. :)

Christina said...

Worst gift I have ever received would have to have been some star wars action figures from my (at the time) geeky boyfriend. I'm all for star wars but now on my 21st birthday!

Life of a girl called hawaiianpunchelsea said...

The worst persent i have ever recieved was a re gifted set of cassete tapes on consuling. 1) you could tell they were re-gifted due to the dents on the sides, and the fact that one cassette was not rewind all the way. 2) cassette tapes in 2007? (the year i recived the gift) 3) what are you saying giving a student studying early childhood education consuling tapes.

In Conclusion, that is the worst gift I have ever recived.

Bella said...

The worst gift I ever "recieved" was a hexagon shaped fish tank from my then-boyfriend. He had hinted for weeks that HE wanted a fishtank for Christmas. He then took my fishtank he bought me, and put it in his basement. Nice!

Kel said...

I received one of those fuzzy coloring posters with the unicorns or fairies on it from one of my aunts every year for christmas until I was done with high school. It started to get straight strange.

greenTXmom said...

Shittiest present ever was about 10 years ago. My mother in law gave me a long, zip-up "dressing gown" think pre-Snuggie. It was awful and I never wore it...don't be so shocked. :) We've been married 11 years and I have yet to receive one worse than that.
lizandbryan@yahoo.com
southernfriedgreenmom.blogspot.com

greenTXmom said...

I am a follower now too! :)
lizandbryan@yahoo.com

Michelle said...

Well, I read this post before and couldn't think of one thing to contribute. Well, a day later and all has changed! We had our company Christmas party last night and we do a Chinese switch game with the gifts. You don't know what you're gonna get. Well, the gift gods really came through and I am the proud owner of a snuggie.....wait for it.....for my dog!

Erin said...

The worst gift I ever received was a a hideous crystal hat pin in the shape of a Christmas present. Who wears hat pins anymore? It came from a cousin. Guess it really is the thought that counts.

Teiva said...

I used to get a Campbells Soup Kids ornament each year from my Grandmother...because my last name is "Campbell" and also because I was portly and "looked exactly like them". Thanks Granny.

Anonymous said...

The worst gift I ever received was a set of 6 steak knives that my aunt stole from my mother

Suzan said...

The worst gift I ever got was a set of makeup bags. I didn't wear makeup. Thanks, mother-in-law!

theoneredhead said...

The worst present I ever received was an expired gift certificate. What a bummer! Cheers,

Heather

Esmerelda Johnson said...

My grandmother is the queen of awful gifts. Some years, she'll forget one of the grandchildren, so we'll be left opening nothing while our siblings get to open something. Once, she got my mother and me matching porcelain dolls.

But the worst was a "gold" necklace that said "#1 Mom".

abadamandaka said...

Worst present ever was an ugly pair of pierced earrings... I don't even have my ears pierced.

Elizabeth said...

Soap. Three years in a row. When I was a kid! From my aunt. Who gave everyone else nice gifts. I wonder, did she hate me or was she trying to tell me something?! LOL

Michelle said...

Ok... worst present I ever got was from my grandmother... It was pajamas. It was basically a onesie... it had footies and the crotch was around the ankles... So Strange!! I tried it on one time for a silly picture and then got rid of it. What in the world???

mandm_2002 at hotmail dot com

The Boy, Sagan said...

These are Great! I'll play... the most craptastic gift I have ever gotten was a hand painted picture of myself... gorgeous mind you... of my wedding day. In watercolors. If it was gorgeous, you ask, why was it the most craptastrophic gift ever? Well my mother in law painted it, and she opted OUT of adding the 2 large moles I have the on the bridge of my nose, TWEEZED my eye brows in the picture into something she wanted, and to top it all off, I look like I am trying to poop because I have a very urgent constipated look on my face. Worse thing is, she NOTICES if it's not hanging up when she visits once a year so we have to hang it over the tv in all it's "This is not really what I look like" glory. Cheers. Thanks for letting me vent.

Julia said...

used deodorant.

riceja@jmu.edu

Julia said...

used deodorant from my gma.

riceja@jmu.edu

sarah said...

a vaccum cleaner...yuck!

sleepingKelly said...

When I was a teenager, my grandmother gave me a "Cassie the Cow" lap. It would have been cute for a 4 y/o, not a 14 y/o.

kelly.lynn.baker@gmail.com

Marta said...

Not quite sure if this counts, but it was definitely disappointing...I handmade ornaments for my husband and I to take to an ornament exchange. They were adorable ornaments! Little birds made with tissue paper...one red and one blue. Everyone wanted them and was stealing them from other people, which me feel great! But in the end both he and I got stuck with really lame ornaments. Mine was a tacky Barbie ornament that probably came from a McDonalds' Happy Meal...and the kicker is that the person that brought the Barbie ornament ended up with one of the BIRDS THAT I HAD HANDMADE! Very frustrating.

Sarah said...

When I was 13 and too cool for school, my mom decided to finally get me the guitar I had wanted when I was 10. Needless to say I was not excited.

Ann On and On... said...

I will always remember the sweatshirt my boyfriend in high school gave me...it was a terrible gift! It wasn't for me because it was a size xxl... I weighed almost 110 lbs and it was dirty.

Megan said...

The worst gift i have ever recieved was a regifted bath salts set that was 99 cents. I knew it costs this because my sister in law left the price tag on.

I gave it back to her the next christmas

solojag11@gmail.com

Shooting Stars Mag said...

Oh wow, I don't even know. Most of my gifts that aren't that great were just ones that were obviously not thought about too much like the people that used to give me bath and body works over and over and over until my mom told them I had enough when I was younger and they finally stopped!!!

-Lauren
lauren51990 AT aol DOT com

Lynne M. said...

My shittiest gift was a box of beads with no strings or anything to do with them. I remember being so disappointed.

Kristine said...

Great contest - this is the first time I have actually read all the comments! And being 7 months pregnant, here's hoping I don't get a WW cookbook for Christmas this year. My worst present - what I thought was a fancy piece of longed-for jewelry in a tiny velvet box turned out to be trashy costume jewelry.

Allison said...

The worst gift that I recieved (& I am quite sure that I have recieved something worse than this, I must be blocking out bad gifts)was from my ex husband's grandmother. A very sweet lady, but known for her unusual gifts. (Everyone would ask, "What did she get YOU?") She gave me a small ceramic box with a high heel shoe on it, orange and yellow and hot pink. Did she think I would keep jewelry in it and put it out for all to see? I'm not sure what I did with it; maybe boxed it up with the ex's things!
ahartup at yahoo dot com

Sally said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I'm suddenly feeling SO much better about my meatball stained pajamas!

XOXO,
Sally ;)

Megan: said...

The worst present I got was from my mom who thought because the house I had moved into had red countertops I needed to decorate in an apple theme. So she gave me a napkin holder basket with wire apples hanging off the sides.

Maggi said...

I had been dating a guy for 1 1/2 years already when he came up with this rotten gift. Honestly, some or maybe even most girls would have loved it. It just goes to show that he wasn't really thinking about me when he came up with it.
I am not a jewelry wearer. I never have been. I have about 3 pairs of earrings, 2 bracelets, and one ring. I hardly ever change my jewelry, on a regular basis I wear my one ring (an heirloom) and a pair of silver stud earrings. I hate necklaces. I always feel like they're choking me.
So, this guy decided to make me a necklace for my birthday. He went to the jeweler, who he knew personally, and made a heart shape with our birthstones in it. It was strung on a chain. The thing was hideous. I was so upset with it, and he knew, that I didn't even know what to say.
He told me that I better like it because the matching earrings were coming for xmas. Sure enough, Xmas rolled around and I got the matching earrings.
It sucked.

t.mullenix said...

Wow! I love this giveaway - first time I have ever read all the comments - too funny! Hmmm... some of the worst gifts I've ever received... footed jammies when I was 14 from my Dad, but the real shitty gift has to be the 'Bush's Last Day 1-1-09' t-shirt and matching magnet I received last year from the woman who insisted on telling me this year that she "is cutting down on Christmas and isn't going to be able to spoil us like she usually does"... my Mother... oh shoot Mom, you mean I only get the fridge magnet this year?!?

Sarah Lynne said...

The worst present I ever received was a feathered hat from my mother in law. I think she bought it to annoy me!!!!

I hope I win!!!!

Megan May said...

Well, when I was about 12, my great grandmother gave me a bottle of Barbie bubblebath. I was mortifies. However, if I could go back, I would slap myself across the face. What's so bad about Barbie bubblebath? I would love that gift now, even though I'm 22. My friend's senile grandma gave her a stick of deodorant packaged in a used pizza box. imagine the surprise of getting that on Christmas morning!

Joni said...

The worst gift I ever got was at a work gift exchange. The limit was $10.00 so I got this decent gift set with lotions and bubble bath, well I got a cheap, plastic, dirty picture frame that came from the dollar tree.

Molomatic said...

My ex bought me a wool sweater - I'm allergic to wool!

Anonymous said...

I received a glass cutter kit from goodwill from my uncle one year....and when I got older he gave me a bag of pot! I had no idea what it was...haha!

Anmarie said...

Well, I got married 9 years ago. My husband has a grown son and daugher-in-law who don't really like me. Last year the daughter-in-law's mother gave me a photo of the grown son and daughter-in-law for my gift! Now why would I want that? Did she give them a photo of me for their present?

Vikki Pang said...

Expired candy!! Eww!!!!

Karen Chen said...

soap in the shape of the boy who stuck his thumb in the plum pie-jack?

Anonymous said...

Ohhhhhhhhhh worst gift huh? I actually wish I had a picture of it because I don't know if my description will do it justice. I got a necklace that was on a thick fake gold chain and on it hung two fake "jewels". They were very heavy and inside each was the worst smelling solid perfume ever! This "necklace" was so hideous and so heavy, at first I didn't know what it was, and then I thought it was a joke. It wasn't.

Anonymous said...

Hi!Well, my worst present probably won't be as bad as what is listed here so far. I got a bright yellow sweatshirt with hood one year from my aunt Marilyn. It was way too big and I hate the color yellow on me. You could see me for miles wearing that thing. I told her nicely to take it back and told her I don't like yellow clothes.

connie_bryant@hotmail.com

Heidi said...

It has to be a hot pink (my least favorite color) sweatshirt my grandma made me for Christmas one year. She literally sewed a potholder with a teddy bear on it onto the front of the sweatshirt and called it good. Wow!

writeme@heidimail.com

nfmgirl said...

I don't know if I've ever gotten a really "bad" gift per se, but my sister-in-law is a re-gifter. Being a re-gifter is okay, but she's pretty bad about it. So one of the worst was the year that I got the Christmas cookie cookbook from her-- and I had given it to her the year before! (She got other things from me, too. It was just a "filler" gift that I'd given her.) Another year she gave me a gift that I know my mother gave her, because my mother gave me the same thing the year before.

Every year my mother and I laugh as we start going through the box of gifts that are shipped to us by my sister-in-law at Christmas, never knowing what will be in there. Lots of flea market "filler" gifts!

Rachel said...

A hideous beige mohair sweater with a maroon patterned skirt. The best part was that it was from my mother and when I told her I didn't like it she said we could return it. We never did.

Thanks for the giveaway!

RAchelhwallen@gmail.com

Inspired Designs by Teresa said...

After losing 75 lbs. my mom gave me clothes that would have fit my old body. I'm still not sure what she was trying to say.

Jen said...

i once got a supposedly $50 gift card to borders, but when I went to the store the card didn't have any cash on it.

Jill said...

when i was a young woman, my mom wrapped up and placed under the tree a TRAINING BRA for me. I was horrified.

kitkatnurse said...

Work present was given to me by my future sister-in-law last year at the fiance's family christmas dinner. She made me unwrap it in front of the entire family and it was a set of pink furry handcuffs. My mouth dropped and the look on my mother-in-laws face was priceless. His sister than let us know that just because we were getting married, our sex life didn't have to go stale.

Rachael said...

Short purple boots with gawdy rhinestones all over and fake fur trim. The gifter told me they were the new in-shoes. Ummm.... those never have been and never will be in style.

Beth said...

A portable hand mixer from my husband-romantic NOT!
Bxianesq@aol(dot)com

Carter's Mom said...

The worst present I ever received was one of those logs of meat. My husband and I had worked really hard to give meaningful gifts to his family and his mom gave us a log of meat. We were 22 years old... lol.

claudine said...

The absolute worst present I have EVER received was my 1994 Christmas bonus from SHAW'S. This was one of the last years that they gave us something usually we got a hat or a tea shirt. This year they gave everyone......wait for it..... a coupon for a free can of Shaw's cranberry sauce. Did I mention that they were on sale 4 cans for $1.00. I felt sorry for the poor guy who was working HR and had to hand them out.
Daydreamer7167@aol.com

Style Wins said...

The shittiest gift I ever received was a jar of peanut butter. My great-grandma gave it to me though, and she was a little bit senile at the time so I feel kind of bad saying that, lol.
courteneycourteney@yahoo.com

irishriot said...

Shittiest gift ever? A gift certificate for personal training appointments, given to me by my husband. Even though I had been bitching about wanting to do something like that forever, it just kind of hurt getting them from HIM!

Melissa said...

That would have to be the Flowbee. You know, that vacuum cleaner attachment that cuts your hair and sucks up the pieces as they are severed? Yeah. That was it.

Sarah said...

I got an American flag that electronically waves whilst singing patriotic songs.

Laura Clemons said...

The worst gift I possibly ever got was used lotion from the dollar store, given by a secret santa at work.

DEBIJOT said...

It had to be a cutting board from my husband the 1st Christmas we were together. Talk about romantic!

ArtistJess said...

i totally got leftover green-bean casserole one year in an old butter jar. she was completely serious too. wrapped it all up and put a bow on it. i thought it was a joke, but i waited and she never laughed or anything.

T's Craft Corner said...

My sweet old grammy is FAMOUS for giving the most random, shitty gifts ever. Last year I got two pairs of socks (my sister got the other two pairs that came in a Hanes pack of four lol)
But, sadly, I have to say that I got the shittiest gift ever this year. My sweet grammy was at it again. She got me a handmade practically knee-length sweater that she found at a thrift store...not just any knit sweater...this thin loiterally had every christmas-related sequin appliquie ever made. I counted ten before I gave her a kiss and put it back in the box. Not sure what I am supposed to do with it now hehe. Gotta love her.
Happy New Year
kwlasvegas@gmail.com