It's been awhile, but I've got a "mother" story.
Almost every single Saturday, I take my seventy-eight year old mother (who is the Portuguese version of Sophia Petrillo) out for lunch, to do errands, to go shopping, and to church.
I do this because (A) most of the time, I like spending time with her, (B) she doesn't drive, so I like to get her out of the house when I can, and (C) I am trying to secure my place in Heaven (Trust me, I need all the help I can get).
So, last Saturday, while we were sitting quietly in church listening to the pastor's sermon, out of NOWHERE my mother turned to me and whispered, "Hey..."
But, I didn't hear her because I was LISTENING to the priest, right? So then she whispered a little louder, "Hey, Sally..."
This time I heard her and I'm thinking, "What the heck is so important that she needs to talk to me RIGHT now?"
I figured maybe she wanted me to move out of the way because she had to go to the bathroom or something, right?
So, I leaned in a little closer to her and said, "Ma...What's the matter?"
She leaned in...reeeeaaaaallllyyyy close to my face----like what she had to say was ULTRA important and just COULD NOT WAIT----and whispered, "YOU NEED A HAIRCUT."
In response to her out of the friggin blue (and completely inappropriate) comment, I shook my head, gave the her a VERY DISAPPROVING LOOK, and thought to myself...
Hello, Jesus? Where are those lightening bolts when you really need them?