Friday, January 1, 2010

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!

Happy New Year, everyone! Welcome to 2010! I am so excited today for a few reasons. First, today is the one year anniversary of my blog! Last year at this time, I was sitting around watching the snow fall and I thought, "I'm bored. I'm starting a blog!" And I did. Never in my wildest dreams did I actually think people would read it! So, thank you so much to my readers! Without you, I would be talking out my ass...to myself. I LOVE YOU, MAN (I see a Bud Light commercial in my future, don't you?)!

The second reason for my excitement is that today I am giving away three Yankee Candles (the BIG ONES, peeps!) to three different lucky readers (one each). Thank you to all who entered the Mais Fica Blog Giveaway! Now, contain yourselves because I'll announce the winners at the end of this post...right after I torture y'all a bit (I AM SOOO NOT KIDDING).

Now, speaking of torture, the third reason why I am so damn excited today is because I want to share with you, MY VALUED READERS, my transition from 2009 to 2010. I hope you'll still like me after I share my night with you (have a drink or something...you're going to need it to forget the image that you are about to see).

PARENTAL GUIDANCE IS SUGGESTED. Seriously.

Now, put your food and your beverages down. I will not be held responsible for any computer keyboards damaged by puke.

Ready? Here goes...

OK. So, yesterday Hubby and I went to pick up our friends, Pam and Bob. We brought them over to our house where we waited for Crazy Lou and Linda (she's not crazy, he is) to arrive. Lou was supposed to pick us up in an SUV of sorts so we could ride to our destinations together. Instead, he showed up in a big ass stretch limo. We all thought that the limo was sooo cool! We were like, Whoo hoo! This is going to be sooo flippin fun! Right? BUT, then? Lou got out of the limo. And we almost shit bricks.

You see, my dear friends...Yesterday, it snowed like a freak here. And it was cold AND very icy. So, we (as in Hubby, me, Pam, and Bob), being of sound mind, NEVER expected Lou to show up LOOKING LIKE THIS:
This is him standing between Pam and Bob. Can you say SEX-AY?? Oh, yeah! And it's the first time they've ever met! Thank you Pam and Bob for not running SCREAMING from our house last night upon meeting Lou. SERIOUSLY.

***FYI? There's a dish towel in Lou's shorts, so don't be thinking that there's THAT MUCH JUNK in his trunks...if you know what I mean *wink, wink*.

And since we were already in RAUNCHY mode (THANKS TO LOU), Pam and Bob presented Lou and Linda with a very appropriate "getting to know you" gift. And let me just say that Lou was ecstatic because he was now, thanks to his new peeps---Pam and Bob, the proud owner of an authentic Tiger Woods and Whore #14 Doll Set! Let's give Pam and Bob a round of applause for their generosity and creativity! Clap, clap, clap (no pun intended, Tiger...Get it? The CLAP? No? Only me then? OK...Moving on...):

Lou With His Tiger Woods & Whore #14 Dolls


OK. So, at this point in the evening, we are all praying to Jesus that Lou brought some REAL clothes with him because we are collectively thinking that staring at Lou's package all night long is NOT going to be the most conducive way to ring in the new year. And thankfully, he did. After Lou removed his dish towel peenie and got dressed in REAL clothes, we had some prosecco and snacks, toasted to the night *ching, ching*, and headed off to destination #1, the Astor's Beechwood Mansion in Newport, RI.

At the mansion, we saw a short play where some actors in period dress, acted out scenes from Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. About thirty-five minutes into the play, one of the actors got "killed" and we spent the next half hour wandering around the mansion looking for clues as to who dun it! Very cool....But, FYI? All six of us guessed wrong (Romeo did it). I'm blaming the two bottles of prosecco.

Our next stop was Mama Luisa's restaurant on Thames Street in Newport where we settled in for the remainder of 2009. We enjoyed several bottles of wine and prosecco (UM...I think...five?) and indulged in a five course meal. CAN YOU SAY GLUTTONY? Thankfully, the staff at Mama Luisa's was sooo warm and welcoming, because we didn't have time to make it home for the big midnight countdown. So, we rang it in there:

Paul, Me, Bob, Pam, Linda, and Lou

Our waiter, Michael (He's a musician! Click here to learn more!)---with my Hubby

The staff loved Lou so much that they gave him an authentic Mama Luisa's chef's hat...which he wore all the way home WHILE he sang BAD KARAOKE in the back seat of the limo. Seriously, dudes? Whose friggin idea was that?:


I KNOW you want to hear him. So, even though it was too dark in the limo to get a good visual, we were able to capture his voice. I present to you...The voice of Lou! Or is it a goat being strangled to death?? You decide:
video

After a fun ride home, where we all sang along to horrible karaoke songs, we finally got to my house at 1:45AM. Before calling it a night, we (even my doll, Little Louie, took part) took pictures wearing our AUTHENTIC 2010 glasses (notice that I'm holding my AWESOME LIMITED EDITION Michael Jackson THRILLER Rubber Duckie (jealous???)! Thanks Pam and Bob! :



I started my year off with great food, great fun, and great friends (and a great Hubby)! I have a feeling that 2010 is going to be an awesome year! And I hope you'll all stick around to experience it with me!

Happy New Year to you all! From the bottom of my heart!!

***And now....

The winners (electronically selected at random) of the Mais Fica Yankee Candle Giveaway are:

1. Bella

2. Ann On and On

3. cmoursler

Congratulations, ladies! Please email me (see my blog profile page) with your full names and shipping addresses. Candles will be shipped on Monday, January 4th 2010 via UPS Ground delivery. Thanks for playing!!!

And here's a little consolation prize for those of you who didn't win :( Hey, it beats turtle wax. Doesn't it?
video

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jenn Black has left a new comment on your post "HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!":

This is funny. I called my parents today to wish them a happy new year, and asked how their night was. They replied "it was a lot of fun, we got in 2:30am". No details. No stories. I found that odd. Now I know why. :) Happy New Year. Jennifer

Sally said...

Happy New Year, Jen! Your parents are a hoot!

Hanlie said...

Oh that is funny! Love the idea of going out in a stretch limo - that way everyone can drink.

Happy New Year! I look forward to many more laughs from you in 2010!

I take it you got the crock pot?

Lisa said...

Hey,I think I know your waiter. He's actually an accomplished, VERY accomplished musician, which ensures that he was completely offended by Lou's singing. Did he tell you his name? Was is Michael? He's the director of a chamber music ensemble named Musica Maris. http://archive.southcoasttoday.com/daily/01-07/01-25-07/08coastin.htm
Happy New Year; I'll be seeing Pam tonight and getting the REAL details!

Sally said...

Lisa,
Yes! The waiter told us all about his musical talent! We are actually going to see him perform next month. Luckily, Lou didn't sing in front of him or we would have SURELY been bounced out of the restaurant on our butts :)

Sally said...

Hanlie---Yes, I got the crockpot! I'm planning a Christmas present "recap" this week. Stay tuned!

Bella said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you! I just got my candle in the mail today. As I own a farting boxer dog, please send any other spare scented candles my way :)

Thanks again!

Bella