Thursday, January 21, 2010

How To Scare The Sh*t Out Of Your Husband Without Really Trying

Every year, when the dust settles after the holiday season, I go through a routine to organize my house and rid myself of "stuff."

Last night, I decided to start my quest by going through Hubby's clothes with him and getting rid of anything that is worn, doesn't fit, or he just doesn't like.

After making our way through two closets, we ended our clothing purge by sorting through some coats and jackets. When were done, he went off to take a shower.

Now, in the midst of looking through the coat closet, I found a short, brown coat that belongs to me. I haven't worn it in awhile because I'm not a fan of its faux fur collar:

As I was mulling over my decision to pack it up with the rest of Hubby's clothing that we were donating to charity, I realized that the creepy, faux fur collar was removable. So, I took it off.

I tried on the coat sans the collar, looked in the mirror and thought, That's much better! It's a keeper! Then, NOT THINKING, I threw the fur collar into the trash bin that is under my kitchen sink:

Fast forward to 10:00PM.

I was upstairs reading and Hubby was downstairs watching television.

He went into the kitchen to have some CHOCOLATE COVERED BISCOTTI and milk right before bed (NICE). Suddenly, I hear, "AHHHHHH!!!! WHAT THE F*CK???!!!" And I shot off the bed, ran down the stairs and asked, "Oh my God! What's the matter?"

Dudes! He was freaked out! Almost crapped himself! Seriously!

Apparently, when he threw the biscotti wrapper in the trash, he thought my furry coat collar was a creature that had climbed into our garbage bin to nest and hang out.

He was shaking!

And I?

Well, let's just say that I was crying...from laughing so gah-damn hard.

BAHAHAHAHA!

Oh, well.

That's what he gets for eating cookies right before bed.

The Gods of Weight Loss Karma bit him in the ass. Boo yah!

Who says there's no justice in this world??

7 comments:

Debs said...

LOL!! I love it!! Perhaps you could start a box pass with the fur collar for your Mais Fica readers! That way we'll all have a chance to freak out our husbands.

MB said...

HAHAHAHA...that is hysterical. I probably would have freaked out if I saw that too. HAHAHAHAHA...thanks for the laugh.

Watching and Weighting said...

serves him bloody well right! biscotti? before bed? jackass :)

cmoursler said...

You guys ought to have your own show, I swear.
And yes, He does deserve it...
My husband likes to come upstairs occasionally with food before bed.
I just stare at him until he gets uncomfortable and leaves.
We are more like lucy and charlie brown. lol.

Kyle Gershman said...

Ran across your blog...you are my kinda blogger! Commence following...

Sadaf Trimarchi said...

Burst out loud laughing at this one. And he deserved it. My husband does that late night eating in front of me shit, and it drives me nuts.

You're also kind to do the purging of his closet with him there. I wait till mine is out of the house and then get rid of his things.

Anonymous said...

I laughed so hard at this that my 2 year old got disturbed and leaped up into my laugh and said "I'll make you happy Mommy, I'll make you happy!". He thought I was upset b/c he's never seen me laugh so hard that I sounded like I was hysterically crying (and there were tears running down my face). Why aren't you writing in a newspaper for money yet? Get to it!