Friday, January 15, 2010

I Know You Are, But What Am I?

This is my treadmill, George Clooney. See George on the top left and me on the top right of the display?:

Here's a closer look:

I work my butt off on him at least five days a week. I like what he does for me when my workouts are over. However, when I'm in the midst of walking/running on him? I hate his friggin guts.

As you can see, I have a small television right in front of George. Sometimes, I make my way through my FORTY FIVE MINUTES OF SHEER TREADMILL TORTURE by walking/running to the beat of whoever is cooking on the Food Network. I kid you not. I guess that would make me some sort of a culinary masochist, but whatever.

Anyway, this morning, as I was doing up George Clooney, the box that contains my super realistic pre-lit Christmas tree which I use every year because (A) real Christmas trees drip messy sap on my clean floors and (B) real Christmas trees were banned from my house BY ME when the last real tree we had HAD A FRIGGIN SPIDER'S NEST IN IT...AAAAHHHH!!!!

God. I seriously have the attention span of dryer lint.

Anyway, like I was saying, there's a box on a shelf to the right of George Clooney that contains my Christmas tree. And said box just sort of JUMPED OUT at me this morning, kind of MOCKING me as I literally worked my ass off. Check it out, right behind my head (read the top line):

GROSS weight.

Yeah. That's what I think, too.


Stephanie said...

I love that you are watching the food network while working out. But doesn't it make you hungry? At work, I'm either writing, reading, or talking about food pretty much nonstop, and it does cause cravings sometimes. In holistic nutrition school the prof was explaining that the brain is the first organ of digestion, because when you see the food it signals your salivary glands and stomach acid to start churning.

Sally said...

It absolutely makes me hungry. But, what can I say? I'm a glutton for punishment :)


cmoursler said...

I love it when I am working out at the gym and the pizza commercials come on...then the weight loss commercial and then the drive thru taco bell commerical.
I love our schizophrenic society.

starfish264 said...

Does dryer lint have a particularly short attention span?? I think you'll find, by the way, that they just mispelt net weight, and it's really meant to say "neat weight". And there's a question mark after gross weight. "Gross weight?" "Nah, neat weight". See, it's just perspective! :o)

Rapunzel said...

I'm going to have to put George next to my treadmill. Right now he resides in a folder at work, passed back & forth between myself and co-worker. When one of us is having a bad day, George mysteriously finds himself on her desk with a cute or sexy note attached. Love that Man.

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