Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Smack, Smack, Smack!


Happy Wednesday, peeps! Just checking in to give you this weeks Operation Ass Shrinkage rundown.

Yesterday, I went for my Weight Watchers weigh in and lucky for me (Luck my freakin arse, I worked for every bit of it...trust me!), I lost 1.6 pounds. Whoot woot!

So far, since my healthy quest has begun, my butt is 6 pounds smaller (yay) which means that my chronic wedgies have ceased (double YAY---one for each cheek). But I've got to tell y'all. This shit ain't easy.

This week, I found myself in a few situations where I was struggling to keep it together. For example, I have formed an eating routine that seems to work well for me. I eat three meals and three snacks a day and I space them out according to my needs. The last snack I eat, I usually have at night when I'm watching TV with the Hubby. I usually have some almonds, or air popped popcorn, fruit, or a low fat dessert that I've whipped up.

NOW, the man that I am married to? Well, he pretty much eats whatever I eat (But more of it, bastard!), EXCEPT for our last (nighttime) snack of the day. This is pretty much when he chooses his own poison, if you will.

So, one night this week, he ate a candy bar. And my friends? It WAS NOT just a candy bar. No. It was a mother fuggin Mr. Goodbar on steroids. You know the ones, right? No, not the regular size Mr. Goodbars that you find at the pharmacy candy counter. NO, NO, NO. I'm taking about this:

Except the one he ate was ONE POUND. For reals, people.

And as he was eating his ONE POUND chocolate bar and guzzling down his big ass glass of milk, I was munching away on my very respectably sized bowl of air popped popcorn and washing it down with Pellegrino. But, I swear. The whole time, I was breathing in deep through my nose so I could take in that luscious scent of chocolate, all the while praying for the strength to resist tasering him senseless.

This pursuit of a smaller ass?

Yeah, let's all take a moment to collectively pray that someone (you know who) doesn't get hurt in the process, y'all. Seriously.

5 comments:

Debs said...

Congrats to you!
And, here's a secret for a chocolate fix ...
Fiber Plus Antioxidants chewy bars, 130 calories, 5 grams fat, 9 grams fiber, taste JUST LIKE chocolate bars!! Much better than Fiber One.
They're in the cereal/ granola bar aisle and come in chocolate chip and dark chocolate almond (my fave)! Yum.

karen@fitnessjourney said...

Hi, first visit to your blog. Isn't it unfair how men can eat anything they want? My husband can drink one less beer a week and lose 8 lbs!

Chocolate is definitely my weakness. I don't think I could have been in the same room with the aforementioned pound of chocolate.

Sadaf Trimarchi said...

God that is so unfair. I've been on ww, and it's very good if you follow the program. I've also been on it at the same time as my husband, who will happily consume twice the number of points I'm allotted, including bowls of ice cream right in front of me. Infuriating - and he LOSES weight while I have to diligently watch every bite, lick and taste that passes my lips.

Rockin' Robin said...

funny post! Don't worry... it will all be worth it one day.

cmoursler said...

I love the cartoon, hysterical.
ugh.
I don't even buy popcorn.
I will eat every last crumb.
I could have a bowl of air popped popcorn, the kids would get theirs with butter.
They'd leave some and I would eat it.
Popcorn is my crack.
That candy bar wouldn't have even got my attention lol.