Thursday, January 28, 2010

So Long, Sleeze Ball!


Today, I had a whole post planned revolving around my beloved crockpot. Because, dudes? I am in love with it.

But, shortly after getting my arse out of bed, I saw the news.

And then? I read the news.

And I was all like, Praise the Lord! It's like Christmas all over again! And, I must share my joy with my internet peeps!

Right about now, you're probably thinking, "What in the friggin hell is this chick so damn excited about?"

And I AM FUGGING HAPPY TO SHARE THE NEWS! Ready?

It's finally happened!

Elizabeth Edwards has filed for legal separation from her rat-bastard, scum sucking dog of a husband---citing that she just can't take him and his lyin' cheatin' ways anymore!

Can I get a hallelujah, brothers and sisters?

OK. How did I suddenly turn into an evangelist?

Yeah. Apparently, all of this crap between him and the skanky whore who is the mother of his illegitimate child, is too much for Elizabeth to bare. She is DONE with him....You know...because she has other, more pressing things to deal with like raising two young children WHILE battling STAGE FOUR CANCER and shit.

I am so frigging happy.

Because, you know what?

I don't think it's EVER too late to take back your dignity! And even though Elizabeth is sick, and even though she has suffered through the awful humiliation associated with being married to a douche nugget like John Edwards, she has and always will have more class in her baby toe than that two dollar ho---Yeah, I'm talkin to you, Illegitimate Baby Momma---has in her whole skanky body.

Oh, yeah. And one more thing...

When all of this info about the Edwards' separation became public, John Edwards made it a point to STRESS to the media that when he had the infamous affair with Douchenaya (another name for Illegitimate Baby Mama), his wife's CANCER WAS IN REMISSION!

Yeah, cuz THAT makes sticking your DINGUS where it doesn't belong SO MUCH MORE ACCEPTABLE, a**hole!

What a freakin pig!

Seriously.

7 comments:

Kathy said...

Sally,
Last night I heard on Extra that the Sleeze Ball and the whore had sex in Elizabeth's bed. I am sure that you also heard there is a sex tape as well. I love watching quality shows like Extra and Access Hollywood so I can keep up with these kinds of things since my life is so boring.

Sally said...

Kathy,
I heard about the sex tapes! Can you even begin to imagine that a dirtbag like that thought he could run our country?

And FYI? I, too, enjoy the educational shows like Access Hollywood! They make us well rounded!

XOXO,
Sally :)

Mrs. B said...

He makes me sick! They were talking about him on The Today Show this morning and they said he was telling the press that he still "cared deeply" for her, not loved, but "cared deeply". I also heard that he has nothing to do with the baby, but that his parents have taken it in as a "normal" grandchild. Its ridiculous!

cmoursler said...

The baby is not at fault.
I feel so bad for elizabeth.
those two had thirty years together before skank whore waggled her fingers and johnny came running.
sad.
They went through the death of a child together, and in what should have been the finale of their marriage, where he helped her deal with what is most possibly the end of her life, he destroys everything they built together.
I can't imagine anything worse.
Mr. edwards (and right now I am glad i am religious) is going to have to stand before God and explain himself...hope I have a front row seat.

Sally said...

Amen, sister!

MB said...

Hallelujah. Praise the Lord Elizabeth has seen the light!

Sadaf Trimarchi said...

Amen! What an ass hat.