Friday, February 12, 2010

I Vant To Suck Your....Oh, Never Mind.

I have been living under a rock of denial.

I am referring to the PHENOMENON that is the Twilight book series:


See...I've been sort of boycotting this whole vampire teenage love story thing. I was all, I refuse to read that childish crap! I am an educated ADULT! What's with all of these grown women getting all hot and bothered by this lame ass Edward Cullen (the lead blood sucker)? They must all be fugging crazy!

And then?

After all of my denials and my absolute refusal to purchase any of these books? My friend, Jen, gave me Twilight for Christmas. That b*tch (Love you, Jen!)! And that's not all. She also gave me an Edward Cullen bookmark:


At first, I looked at her like she'd been smoking crack. I was all, "Seriously, Jen?" And she was ADAMANT! She said, "Just give it a chance. You are GOING TO LOVE IT. Trust me!"

"Oh, alright," I said. "I'll give it a whirl. BUT I'M NOT TELLING ANYBODY ABOUT THIS (except for you, ENTIRE INTERNET)!"

And because I love, love, love books...Can you tell?....

Sally's Library (I am a dork):



I gave it a chance.

I started it on Sunday. By Tuesday, I was halfway done with it. By Thursday, I was all in an effin frazzle...carrying it with me EVERYWHERE! I smuggled it to work in my briefcase. I read it in the bathtub. I read it while I was on the phone "supposedly" listening to my mother. I.WAS.OBSESSED.

But, in the beginning, the practical side of me was having a hard time with the story line. I addressed this with my friend, Nicole, who is a HUGE fan of the Twilight book series. I said to her, "I don't get it! Tell me how this chick can go to her vampire boyfriend's house to meet his entire vampire family AND NOT BE WORRIED AT ALL that they might collectively poke her with straws and drink her up like a giant bloody scorpion bowl?" Nicole answered, "Sally. You need to stop being so practical and start focusing on the fictional. It's an escape. And it's about love. Focus on that."

So, I did.

And shamefully, I am now hooked.

So much so that yesterday, when Hubby asked me, "What do you want for Valentine's Day?"

I can't believe I said it either, people...but I answered, "I would just fart rainbows and shit Haagen Dazs if you bought me the rest of the Twilight series!"

So yesterday, after work, he did....


And the movie, too!



Guess what we'll be doing on Valentine's Day?!

NO, NOT THAT---YOU PIGS!

I meant watching the movie! And eating a fabu home cooked meal!

Which brings me to this question...

Am I the only one who craves Bloody Marys while reading about vampires?

15 comments:

MB said...

I held out for a long time but finally caved and read the Twilight series and loved it. I'm not a fan of the movie and think the kid that plays Edward looks like a heroin addict but the books were great.

I am very jealous of your library. I want one.

Have a blood-sucking good Valentines Day!

Anonymous said...

I had the same thought process "I'm an adult reading a teen book....shameful" however it really does SUCK you in (pun intended). ;)
Happy Valentines day to both you and edward....baaahahahahaha!

love Steph and Brian

Jen said...

Love it!! Now we must go to the midnight showing of eclipse! Happy reading! The next book will determine what team you are on!!!

She woke up FAT said...

You are not alone my friend, you are not alone. You took the words right out of my mouth. I called it childish crap and then..... and then I read all four books in two weeks.

And not to spoil it for you but when your done, you will understand why she wasn't afraid.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

I'm still trying to get through the Harry Potter books...

Hanlie said...

I've managed to steer clear so far...

Debs said...

Welcome to the other side! Vamp Diaries are next!

Amanda said...

I prefer Harry Potter. Now, that said...

I finished the entire "Twilight" series in a week.

*hangs head*

(yes, I'm twelve, why do you ask?)

Jenn said...

TEAM EDWARD!!! :)

Sadaf Trimarchi said...

I'm 37 years old, and will sheepishly admit to reading the whole series last summer. I don't even know what got me started.. friend of a friend recommendation. Was instantly hooked. How can you not like it? It's the perfect teenage girl fantasy. Outrageously beautiful mysterious outsider of a guy, insanely in love with her and committed to protecting her from all self-imposed dangers both real and feigned... and add to that the hint of threat by the whole vampire thing... plus, he refuses to have sex with her. just willing to worship her from afar. It sounds like the perfect marraige to me.

S

Lori said...

Ah.... Welcome to the dark side I have had bloody marys while reading the series too. Got my set for Xmass.

Heather said...

I.TOLD.YOU.SO.

I read all 4 books in 1 week. Could not put them down, took them everywhere and stayed up one night until 4am because I just could not put them down. I've since re-read the series twice and Twilight 3 times...

Robin said...

HAAHAA! Bloody Mary's. A friend lent it to me to read last summer and I haven't been able to crack it open yet. It's "reading week" for me this week...so I may just dust off the book and give it a whirl.

LUCKY YOU! The series PLUS the movie! Whoohoo!!! Can't wait to hear your reviews on the movie.

Rapunzel said...

Sally, I read the first one but not any of the others. It's not that I didn't enjoy it, there are just so many other books I want to read more. *groan*

May I just say that I'm swooning and panting (oh, my!) over your library? I'm just as "dorky," we'd have a great time reading and eating and drinking together. ;)

BippyMama said...

Oh Bips, I can't believe it! I never made it past the first book, but we can still be friends. LOL!