My husband's all discombobulated. He woke me up this morning, lamenting about his recent five pound weight gain.
Five pounds. Big whoop.
Now, let me just say that if I had indulged in all of the goodies that he's been ingesting over the time period that he's been ingesting them in?
Dudes! I'd be as big as a freakin house. I'd a gained five pounds on each ass cheek, thigh, and belly roll by now. I'd be looking like the Michelin Man with big jugs. Seriously.
Anyway, while he was moaning, pissing, and groaning, about his barely expanding belly, I tried to appear compassionate about those FIVE measly pounds. But, the truth of the matter is? I don't really give a crap---because I know that if he puts his mind to it, he will lose that weight in one week. Then, he'll be back to the weight that he was when we got married---almost eighteen years ago. Your heart just bleeds for him, doesn't it?
Anywho, since I love him, I figured that I should try to be a tad bit more supportive of my Hubby's plight. You know...because to some people, five pounds is a lot of weight to have to lose (want.to.stab.those.people). And, since I consider myself a diet expert, I thought I would dedicate this blog to my Hubs, while using this post to give him the ultimate weight loss advice.
And here it is...
Hey, Buddy? If you want to shed the five piddly pounds that are making your pants tighter, STOP DOING THIS SHIT:
Glad I could help.