Happy Monday, Peeps!
I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to my friend, Jack Sh*t. He's a fantastic guy/blogger who's lost a CRAP LOAD (that's a technical term) of weight! And he uses his weight loss knowledge and experiences to motivate lots of people, like ME, who struggle daily with the constant pursuit of a smaller ass.
He wrote a blog today about funny weight loss stories and he INCLUDED ME in his post! OH.MY.GOD! I am so honored! And? I feel like...well...I feel like...um...I guess I feel like this:
I'd like to take this opportunity to thank all of the skinny bitches, who I aspire to force feed Twinkies to---until they puke. I hate you all. But, I am motivated to be one of you....someday (trollops).
I'd also like to thank my treadmill, George Clooney, who I used to refer to as that piece of shit in the basement...until I saw what he could do for my butt cheeks. I love you, man.
And finally, a big, fat THANK YOU to my fellow blogger---my brother from another mother---Jack Sh*t. Dude! You rock SO HARD that I love you even more than my treadmill AND my scale!
Now, click here RIGHT NOW to get on over to Jack Sh*t, Gettin Fit'!
Trust me. You'll love him as much as I do!
And? You'll laugh your ass off...Seriously!