Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Moon Over Massachusetts

I am still recuperating from Saturday night.

On Saturday night, Hubby and I went out for dinner with our friends, Lou and Linda. For those of you who already know about Lou, you won't be surprised by his antics. For those of you who don't know about Lou, AND WHAT HE IS CAPABLE OF, CLICK HERE....Oh, and my apologies in advance.

Okay. So, you get that Lou is a very, very bad influence, right? And he can be a friggin handful because he has no gah-damn shame.

Yeah, well Saturday night? That bald little bad ass was in rare freakin form.

The night started innocently enough. Me, Hubby, Lou, and Linda met at one of our favorite restaurants for dinner---Trio, in Fall River, MA.

Linda and Lou:

Me and Hubby (I wonder why this picture is so blurry? Could it be that the man taking it is already half in the bag?):

Now, before I go any further, I have to tell you that this restaurant not only has fabu food and great service, but their RED SANGRIA is the bestest sangria EVER. And when certain men---LOU---overindulge in said sangria, there is bound to be trouble, people.


In the dining room adjacent to the one we were eating in, my nephew's fiance---Steph, was attending a bachelorette party. I introduced Lou to Steph for the first time on Saturday night. I was all, "Lou, this is my nephew Brian's fiance. She, along with a bunch of other girls, is throwing a bachelorette party for her good friend, Debora."

And you know what he said???

He said, "Ooooh! Can I be the stripper? Huh? Huh? Can I? Can I?"

Frickin perv.

And much to my dismay? Steph said he could come over to the party and PRETEND to be a male stripper.

So he did.

And he shoved his man boobies in Debora's face. Good Lord!

Lou...Getting Ready To Flash The Moobs (man boobs):

Encouraging The Bride-To-Be (Hey, Debora! What up, girl?) To Fondle His Moobs:

And if that wasn't enough? He extended his man boobs to my nephew's fiance, Steph:

Remember...Lou had never met these girls before. Pervy little bastard.

And when the bachelorette party girls presented Debora---the bride---with a penis cake (Oh.Yes.They.Did.), Lou insisted that he was its "model." Yeah, right:

After the girls left the restaurant, I was hoping for a little respite from all of the CUH-RAZY! But, no dice. Instead, Lou and my Hubby (NO MORE SANGRIA, DAMMIT!) began talking INCESSANTLY to these two people, Steve and Tanya, who were sitting right next to us, trying to have a romantic dinner ALONE:

They were great sports, even though Lou and Hubby were blab, blab, blabbing with them the whole time they were there. My apologies, nice people!

And since I'm apologizing, I would like to say I'm sorry to our waitress, Jen (She's awesome! Ask for her when you go to Trio!):

She was such a good sport...putting up with Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum the whole night. BTW, do you see that red aura around Lou's head?? I think it's the mark of the devil! Seriously!

And finally, to conclude this post, I would just like to say one more thing.

Lou? I don't care how much sangria/port wine/alcohol you had to drink. Pressing your bare ass cheeks against the FROSTED GLASS BATHROOM DOOR of a restaurant where lots of people are eating and drinking is UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR! OH.YES.HE.DID. Voila:

Good God. I'm exhausted just reliving this night!

I think I'm going to go and lie down now.

But before I go, I'd just like to say that I'm taking applications for some new friends.

My standards are low.

If you can keep your ass in your pants, you're in.


Kyle Gershman said...

Holy lord...I'm so boring, I wouldn't provide nearly the entertainment that Lou provides and only slightly less likely to be an embarrassment. While I can assure you my ass-security would be high, you simply wouldn't have much good blogging material from me.

Good luck in your search...you'd be an absolute hoot to hang with.

Did I mention that your new hairdo is still very rawr! (or however you'd spell it)

spunkysuzi said...

Oh my!! I'm still sitting here grinning like a fool after reading this post :)

Megan said...

Lou is an ANIMAL!! I love that man!

Anonymous said...

I am going to be in MA this summer with my boyfriend...but after Lou you would most likely be bored out of your skull by us.


Jenn said...

Girlfriend...your hair totally outshines Lou's antics!!! Hot!

Just out of curiousity...what does mom have to say about it??? ;)