Remember my jerkhole treadmill, George Clooney---whose ass I beat down this morning with my running shoes? Take that, pretty boy!
Yeah, well...he's got some competition in the "piece of shit I want to destroy" department at Casa Costa.
Allow me to introduce you to my scale, Edward Cullen (named after the vampire in Twilight, who BITES and SUCKS, just like that piece of crap scale that mocks me in the bathroom):
Oh, and FYI...
Edward's just as big a douchenugget as George.
I don't play favorites.