Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Mirror Is Your Friend

Most women know how to dress to accentuate those parts of their bodies that they are at least fairly happy with. I am certainly no exception.

In my case, I am pretty happy with my eyes, my hair, my smile (four years of braces later) and my boobs. Hot damn, I've got some good boobage! See?

Hubby, Me, and Our Pals---Linda and Lou---Last Summer In Vegas

On the flip side, I am not so thrilled with my butt needs to be smaller!

Now, don't get me wrong. I don't have a shelf ass or anything (you ass SO BIG that you could rest a coffee cup on top of it). But, between my healthy Portuguese hips and my ample BOO-TAY, you could definitely say that I have some junk in my trunk.

But, you know what? I am clear on how I look and I accept it.

And I KNOW that I should not be walking around displaying my arse/hips in things like spandex leggings because...well...I OWN A FRIGGIN MIRROR and I have common sense!

And so, I am super careful about what I wear because I NEVER want to be featured in one of those junkyard dog Wal-Mart shopper emails! You know the ones, right? They feature pictures of wretchedly clad Wal-Mart shoppers wearing things like rainbow striped thongs over their biker shorts! Good Lord, people! Cover that shit up, will ya?!

Anywho, just because I KNOW not to accentuate my negatives, doesn't mean that all women are this well versed. Take this woman, for example:

She has chosen to tattoo and bring attention to her cankle. And? She even rolls up her pants to show it off to the world.

I don't know, people.


I mean...I don't have any tattoos. But, I have friends that do. And they have strategically placed them on areas of their bodies that they think are sexy like their shoulders, ankles, and lower backs.

But to tattoo and purposefully accentuate a cankle?

Call me crazy, dudes.

But, I'm thinking that THAT would be the equivalent of me walking around with my ass cheeks wrapped in rapidly blinking Christmas lights.

And we all know THAT wouldn't be pretty.


Salina Lyn said...

Tattoos don't tend to change but unfortunatly the canvas does. I have a huge tat on my hip. When I first got it there, I had some kick ass thighs. Now I've got saddle bags happening. I don't go around flashing my saddle bags/tattoo to the world because I know the thighs aren't rockin' like they once were. I'm thinking cankle lady is probably like me but lacking the self awareness or a mirror like you said.

Kyle Gershman said...

Hmm...where confidence in your body image can take a wrong turn. After all, we hear thing both ways, i.e. "be comfortable with who you are" versus "nobody wants to see your pasty bloated man boobies at the beach"

I'm with you though...if you ain't got it, don't flaunt it. Doesn't mean you can't be proud of your body, but' best be confident that others would be proud of it too. Respect yourself by respecting others.

(Do you ever look at your comment moderation words and want to track them for future sniglet definitions...the word confirmation on this comment is "Refulch". I don't know what it may mean to Fulch, but to do it again? yikes.)

cmoursler said...

When I was severely obese I had one word that described my wardrobe...that word was
It must skim, not be fair.
that cankle was probably tattooed when it was a calf/ankle.
Before the spread so to speak. At least she has covered herself elsewhere, and if that was taken at walmart, I give the woman ten points for NOT wearing a demin acid washed skirt and tube top.
Nuff said.

MB said...

Makes me wonder which came first, the tattoo or the cankle.

ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ said...

I'm a skimmer, too. And I avoid wal-mart whenever possible. I prefer the much more peaceful target.

That picture of the four of you? Jealous of all the fun in your eyes!