Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Much Ado About Nothing

Today's post is really about nothing...just some random crap that I wanted to share.

First things first.

This morning, as I was driving to work, I was thinking Oh, man. This is going to be another long ass day at work. I wish I was rich so I could stay home all day and eat bonbons while watching reruns of the Golden Girls. Life is so unfair. Boo hoo. Woe is me. And then, I saw this guy:

He was dressed in a foam and velvet Statue of Liberty costume and he was enthusiastically waving to oncoming traffic, trying to entice people to file their income tax returns at the company he works for. I took this vision as a sign. I think it was karma's way of telling me to shut the frig up, get to work, be grateful for the business I'm in, and stop my friggin whining.

Point taken.

Round two of random crap that I'd like to share, is about my buddy, Lou. He's famous for leaving ridiculous messages on my voicemail at home, at work, on my cell, anywhere he can. Here's the latest:

"Hi Sally. ***BIG MUTHHERFUGGIN YAWN*** This is Lou. It's about quarter to four and I was just wondering how you made out talking to Paul about going to Chardonnay's and relaxing for a little while and maybe have a glass of vino. So, give me a call when you get a chance. Okay? Talk to you soon. Bye, bye."

Hey, Emily Post?! Please contact this man and tell him that it's inappropriate to yawn like a friggin beast while you're leaving someone a voicemail message! Geez. Oh, well. At least this time, he didn't leave me a message pertaining to his hairy boys. Thank God for small miracles.

And finally, guess what I did this morning? I decided to surprise my husband by cleaning out his snack drawer! Whoo hoo! Good times!


It was SAYONARA--Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs! NICE KNOWING YOU--chocolate espresso cookies! ARRIVEDERCI--Godiva chocolate bunnies! HASTA LA VISTA--coconut chocolate chip cookies!

Don't worry, though. I didn't leave him empty handed. I filled his stash with almonds, popcorn, carrot sticks, and crackers. I know, I know! I am the best wife EVER!

Anywho, the Hubby doesn't know about this, yet. He'll find out tonight at about 10-ish. That's when he usually washes down his wretched snacks with a big, honkin glass of milk---right before bed. Ought to be interesting...

Oh, yeah. And one more thing...I need you to do me a favor. If you don't hear from me tomorrow, call the Feds...and tell them to check inside the septic tank in my backyard.

My husband's usually a pretty laid back guy...until somebody screws with his cookies.

Peace out, dudes!


Amanda said...

If I threw out the Reese's eggs...

...well, it wouldn't happen. I'd eat them myself. I have no shame.

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Thanks for the video reminder that I need to call my momma and thank her for insisting that I go to college...

Rob Dyess said...

Remember that post that you put up a couple of days ago about violence ALWAYS being an option?!?!?!?

My question for you would be... Does your husband have these same options?

Thanks for the laugh!!

Debs said...

Not the Godiva bunny!

TheUnlikelyTriathlete said...

Oh man, just the photo of these goodies caused a craving eruption...NEED CHOCOLATE NOW.

Mad props for not eating them yourself, cuz that shiznit would be in my mouth the minute I found it.