Wednesday, April 21, 2010

That Takes The Cake

Last week, Hubby and I decided to try a new Thai restaurant in Providence. We'd read some great reviews about the place and heard that it was very authentic.

When we got there, the place was PACKED. There were people waiting out the front door and there was standing room only inside the tiny restaurant. I gave the hostess our name, was told that the wait would be about twenty minutes, and decided to go for a nice walk in this ultra trendy neighborhood to pass the time.

When we returned from our walk, I went back into the restaurant to check on our place in line and was told that I could wait outside for the hostess to come and get us. Hubby and I made our way out to the parking lot and stood right in front of the door.

Now, by this time, the line outside was gone except for us and another couple.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, this amazon chick (she was like seven feet tall) came walking up to us. She was pushing a double baby carriage with a sleeping baby in the front (he was about three months old) and a little girl in the back (she was about three). She stopped right in front of the restaurant's door, helped the little girl out of the carriage, pushed the sleeping baby RIGHT OVER NEAR ME and said, "I'm leaving this baby here. Watch him for me." And she walked WAY into the back of the restaurant, where she remained for FIFTEEN FREAKIN MINUTES waiting for her take-out.

I am not even friggin kidding, people!

I.WAS.FLOORED.

Hubby and I looked at each other, then we looked around to see if we were on Candid Camera or something! I mean, SERIOUSLY! This CRAZY B*TCH just dumped her sleeping baby on two TOTAL STRANGERS??! WTF was she thinking?

Dudes, for one brief moment of my life, I was totally speechless (and you know that doesn't happen often). Finally, I looked at my husband and said, "That stupid b*tch! Obviously she doesn't watch Dateline! What the hell is she thinking?! What if we were baby stealers or something?! We could have grabbed the kid, hopped on the highway, and been halfway to another state by now! Oh.My.God! I am so livid right now!"

Hubby, who was as shocked as I was, responded, "Well, maybe she thinks we look too NORMAL to steal her baby?" To which I responded, "NORMAL? NORMAL? Ted Bundy looked NORMAL! Oh my God! I can not even believe her! I'm going to give her a piece of my mind!"

Hubby was nervous. He didn't want me to cause a scene. So, as much as I wanted to blast her, I pretty much held it in.

Just then, MOTHER OF THE YEAR walked back out of the restaurant and took her baby back. She looked at me nonchalantly and said, "Thanks."

That's when I looked at my husband and said LOUDLY so she could hear me, "I wouldn't steal her baby! But If THAT BABY was a chocolate layer cake, she'd be screwed!"

And with that, I walked into the restaurant...while SHE gave me a dirty look (Yeah, JUDGE ME, assface!).

Dudes? Seriously...

Is it me?

Or, are the stupid really multiplying in droves?

Geez.

13 comments:

Kyle Gershman said...

Holy hell...and to think that douche would be up on the TV, tears streaming down her face, begging for the kidnappers to bring back her precious widdle bundle of joy....disgusting.

Debs said...

Should have called the police and told them she abandoned her baby. Whaco woman.

Rob Dyess said...

No doubt about it... the general public is getting dumber.

You are right... Ted Bundy did look normal. All those girls at the Sorority house thought so.

Oh- BTW- if you had stolen it and sold it, bet ya could have gotten about a 100K!! Just sayin'.

WeighDownSouth.com

Jen said...

Did you feel maternal? HEEHEE! Crazy! You should have called the police! So...how was the restaurant?

Jo said...

Where are the cops when you need them? There was no telling, at the beginning of this episode, how long she'd be gone so calling the cops would have been useless cause by the time they showed up, "mom" would be back and they would be gone by the time the cops got there. Wow, that's crazy!

Jessie said...

WOW! I'm just speechless....

'Drea said...

Um, incidents like that happen in Amazon land where everyone is expected to watch after the children; plus, medieval retribution for crimes against the community is meted out?

But, really, what can you say? People are getting crazier and crazier...

Amanda said...

It's moments like this that make me think my grandmother was right and the entire nation is caving in. Idjits.

MB said...

WOW! What was this crazy woman thinking? I would have taken the baby, walked around the corner and waited to see what the crazy woman did when she came out to find you and her baby gone.

I think there should be a test or you should have to get a license or something to prove you're smart enough to have a baby. Unfortunately, any idiot can make one and they do.

Anna said...

You are a very controlled woman. There is !NO WAY!, I wouldn't have blasted that woman into the next century for doing what she did!

ɹǝƃƃolquǝʞoʇ said...

I would have called 911 about an abandoned baby, but then I'm just a bitch when it comes to mothers like her, because that was wanton endangerment, the stupid cunt.

thisamericantourist said...

I'm all for the idea of "it takes a village," but sheesh. There's a difference between leaving a baby with a neighbor, and leaving a baby with a complete stranger. But judging from her reaction to your comment, it isn't the stupid that's multiplying, it's the outsized sense of entitlement.

Anonymous said...

I would have been losing my mind just like you. And I would be talking about this "friggin" a-hole for years.
Someone once had me watch their teacup yorkie dog outside a starbucks once and I thought that person was nuts. That episode pales by comparison.
(PS - just read what you wrote back to me a few posts back...I could be wrong, but I bet compliments far better than mine will come your way one day...just keep writing. You might be dead like Emily Dickinson when they finally happen, but don't let that stop you. However, I am sure if I ever get around to really writing that I will be hit by a bus the day I finish a manuscript. ...I'm cheerful that way.)
-Erin