Friday, May 21, 2010

I Feel My Mouth Filter S-L-I-P-P-I-N-G Away

The older I get, the more I behave like my mother (Uh-oh!).

I think this happens to a lot of women as they mature.

And FYI? I am maturing. I am not getting old. Getting old can suck it.

The reason I think I am turning into my mother is that I have become sort of free with my opinions. Shocking, right?!

Here's a great example...

Recently, I went out for dinner with my friends--Joyce, Pam, and Debbie. I was sitting at the table, facing the door, when suddenly I saw this dude walking into the restaurant with his date. I took ONE glance at him, put my fork down mid-conversation and said, "Oh, THAT would be a deal breaker for me."

The girls looked at me like, What the hell are you talking about? And I responded, "Don't look now. But, this middle-aged dude just walked in with his woman. AND? He is wearing a friggin headband."

They were intrigued.

I continued to ramble, "I'm sorry. But that just looks so fruity. If I was on the dating scene and I met that guy, I'd be all SORRY, DUDE. Headbands are for rock stars."

See? They're cool! They can pull that shit off!

But you, Harry Headband? Instead of looking cool, you look kind of like this...minus the crazy face...

Yeah. Sooo not cool. But don't take my word for it.

Because to illustrate my point, JUST FOR YOU--MY BLOGGY PEEPS--I made my friends, Debbie and Joyce, PRETEND to pose for a picture so I could inconspicuously zoom in on Harry Headband, who was sitting behind them.

Check it:

Click on the photo below to read my very OWN custom joke. Hey Letterman? You lookin' for a writer??

And for the record, my girls---Debbie and Joyce---agreed with me. They were all like No Way, Dude! Get that plastic, little girl headband out of your mop!

My pal, Pam, was more forgiving. She's nice like that.

Oh, well. At least Deb, Joyce, and I won't be lonely in Hell. We'll have each other! Hehehehe....

From L to R: Joyce (Hellion #1), Me (the ring leader/Hellion #2), Pam (the forgiving one), and Debbie (Hellion #3)

Good God! It's amazing! We don't look a day over twenty-five! Do we, girls?!


cmoursler said...

A.) You guys look fab.

B.) Omahgawd...

There is nothing more to say.
Short of wearing bike shorts and a mesh top..I can't think of anything fruitier.

Kyle Gershman said...

Now that is a fine group of ladies, I'd be more than excited to hang out with for the evening.

Can I wear my headband though? If not, how about press my bare ass up against some frosted glass doors?'ll hide some candy bars in a box of Oreos...yes...will I be welcome then?

You are definitely Letterman material Sally...definitely.

Ms. PJ Geek said...

I have NEVAH seen a man wearing a headband like that. Sunglasses as a headband maybe..something a little eeeeeeeeh about a man wearing a headband. You gals rock!