Monday, June 14, 2010

I'll Send You A Postcard

This morning, while I was eating my oatmeal, my husband informed me that "something" took a crap on top of our house.

Paul: Something took a dump on the house.

Me: And you know this HOW?

Paul: I was looking at the weather report on the computer upstairs and noticed a huge turd on top of the roof.

Me: You mean a SPLAT...like a big bird poop?

Paul: Nope. I mean like a big dog climbed on top of the house and pitched a loaf right outside the office window.

Me: Hmmm...

So, off I went to check out the situation....and he wasn't kidding, people.





Normally, this Grand Poop-scapade wouldn't be a big deal. But, dudes! We live in a two story house that's smack dab in the middle of a grass field. And there are no trees near it that a large animal could jump from to access our second floor. Hmmmm....a mystery!

So, after analyzing the situation and scratching my head a bit, I said to Hubby...

Me: Well, you know what my Mother says. Sh*t is luck! (There is an old Portuguese wives tale that basically says if you step in crap or if a bird drops a load anywhere on your being, you will have great luck and a cash windfall!).

Hubby: Maybe we'll win the Powerball this week.

Me: Whoo hoo! Maybe we will!

And if we do, my friends?

I am sooooo not greedy. I will share.

However, if you happen to be one of those people who treats me like the pile of crap that's currently sitting on top of my house?

Yeah.

You'll be sucking wind.

Seriously.

7 comments:

Anna said...

Oh. My. God! That's too funny! But seriously, I wonder how the heck it got there? When my husband decides to grace our office with his presence, I'm going to show him this post! Your conversations with Paul crack us up! Hilarious!

The Incredible Shrinking Family said...

For what it is worth, I can tell you what critter left the gift- it is a Canadian goose. I live on a flight path for these and in the spring and fall open grassy places around out home are LOADED with these gifts.Now if you want to talk omen kind of stuff, in the Celtic culture geese mean family, so it would be logical ( chuckle) to expect some unexpected company that is related :-)

MB said...

That's some crazy shit.

Don't forget, you actually have to buy the lottery ticket to be able to win big. ;) GOOD LUCK!

Kimberley said...

Being a Canadian I recognized that crap immediately. Looking forward to your big winfall!

Anonymous said...

The other day I went to the cemetery where my father-in-law is resting in peace and the place was covered with goose feces.
Awful!
Yes you have a goose visiting you.
Be careful cause it can get nasty!

Hanlie said...

That looks suspiciously like the stuff that festooned my car this morning... And I thought ostriches couldn't fly!

Debs said...

What the hell do these geese eat???