Thursday, July 15, 2010

Hooray for Delta Sky Miles!

My husband is awesome...most of the time.

However, yesterday? Um. I guess you could say that he was a little bit shaky.

Here's the deal...

Yesterday morning, I was going through the usual steps that I take everyday to tame my big and unruly Portuguese hair. I took the towel off my wet head and proceeded to brush through my wet hair to remove any tangles. Please note that I was not looking in the mirror at this point.

All of a sudden, I turned around to look in the mirror and I let out a gasp!

Dudes! I had sh*tloads of white lint all over my freakin head!

So I yelled, "WTF?!"

Which prompted Hubby to respond from the other room, "What's the matter?"

Me: My hair is covered in white FUGGIN lint! I think there's something wrong with our new towels!

Hubby: *silence*

Me: Did you hear me?

Hubby: Yeah. Um. I don't think it's the towels.

Me: It has to be! Maybe we need to wash and dry the towels a few more times! Oh, WTF?! Now I have to pick this friggin lint out of my wet hair! Son-of-a-b*tch!

That's when Hubs came into the bathroom to splain himself and help me pick the white crap out of my hair.

Hubby: Sal, it's not the towel. It's my fault.

Me: Excuse me? How is it your fault?

Hubby: Um. You know your favorite brush?

Me: Yeah?

Hubby: Yesterday...

Me: Yeah?

Hubby: I used it to brush the fringe on the carpet in the dining room. I guess I forgot to clean the lint off of it when I was done. Hehehe...

Yeah. He "hehehe'd" me.

Apparently, he found the vision of me---standing barlicky bare-assed, dripping wet, with white lint all up in my hair---kind of humorous.

I looked at him and said, "Not.Funny.Dude."

He replied, "Um. Yeah. It kinda is."

Really? Well, alrighty then! We'll see about that, Assclown.

So, last night? When Hubby got home from work, I had a surprise for him.

When he walked in the door, instead of seeing this (See the muthafuggin fringe?):

He saw this:

That's right, Sucka. Don't push my buttons.

I have a credit card.

And I'm not afraid to use it.

Blog Addendum: If any of y'all want my ex-fringy carpet, it's yours! FYI? It's an 8x10 rug---perfect size for rolling up and disposing of your dead husband's body in. Just sayin :)


Allan said...

Funny shit... Thanks

Debby said...

I hate fringe. I unknotted every single strand on my carpet in FL.

Maybe you should keep the old rug...just in case YOU have a body to dispose of....

Allan said...

Sent you a little award !!

Go get it