Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Tape An "L" To My Forehead

OK. So, here's the rundown.

This morning, after be gimpy for the last five weeks (damn broken toes), I went to the local track and walked and jogged for three miles. And let me just say: OH.MY.FRIGGIN.HELL.

Dudes! You should have seen me huffing and puffing like Fatty Freakin McGee. Honestly, if I had balls, I'd a sweat em' right the hell off and they'd still be sitting in the track parking lot, roasting in the hot sun. Holy sh*t! Am I out of shape?!

And you know what really bummed me out?

I wasn't the only one at the track at 6:00AM in the bloody morning.

No sirree!

It was me AND an entire slew of senior citizens on steroids! Seriously, people! I had a gah-damn frick of a time trying to keep up with them! They were zipping right past me like I was jogging in reverse. Damn geriatric showoffs.

Anywho, after busting my crackers for three miles, almost puking on my running shoes, and all but praying for Jesus to kill me right there on that stupid track---I went home.

Then, after drinking a bucket load of water, showering, and having breakfast---GUESS WHAT I DID? GUESS! GUESS! You're never going to guess!

I drove my lame ass BACK TO WEIGHT WATCHERS...again. Because apparently, in my ridiculous mind, my broken toes = a vacation from healthy eating.

I'm such a tool.

And so...

Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of my thighs.

And the pursuit of a smaller ass continues...


Ruby’s Upcycle Designs™ said...

ROFLMAO!!! Well, I wish I could "laugh my ass off," your post...hysterical! I don't know how I found your blog but I'm so glad I did! I've got you on my blogroll! You rock and I wish you luck w/your weight loss and kickin' those seniors asses!

Makes me think I should share (on my blog) my horrid experiences trying to shed my own flubber! xoxoBeth

Kyle Gershman said...

Oh yes...and my hat is off to the 65yo guy who handily came in ahead of me in a 5k a month ago. In fact 69 of 79 others came in front of me including every other male runner and all runners in my age group.

I'm clasping hands and praying that I'll still be running well into the future.

I'm just glad you hit the track, girl...so frustrating about the toes.

Sally said...

Welcome Beth! So happy you're here! FYI...I am a bad influence. Be forewarned ;)


Sally said...

Oh, Kyle! Just knowing that I'm not the only one getting a smackdown by all of the Grammies and Grampies in this world, makes me feel SOOOOO much better. Thanks, Buddy!


Sally ;)