Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Tape An "L" To My Forehead
OK. So, here's the rundown.
This morning, after be gimpy for the last five weeks (damn broken toes), I went to the local track and walked and jogged for three miles. And let me just say: OH.MY.FRIGGIN.HELL.
Dudes! You should have seen me huffing and puffing like Fatty Freakin McGee. Honestly, if I had balls, I'd a sweat em' right the hell off and they'd still be sitting in the track parking lot, roasting in the hot sun. Holy sh*t! Am I out of shape?!
And you know what really bummed me out?
I wasn't the only one at the track at 6:00AM in the bloody morning.
It was me AND an entire slew of senior citizens on steroids! Seriously, people! I had a gah-damn frick of a time trying to keep up with them! They were zipping right past me like I was jogging in reverse. Damn geriatric showoffs.
Anywho, after busting my crackers for three miles, almost puking on my running shoes, and all but praying for Jesus to kill me right there on that stupid track---I went home.
Then, after drinking a bucket load of water, showering, and having breakfast---GUESS WHAT I DID? GUESS! GUESS! You're never going to guess!
I drove my lame ass BACK TO WEIGHT WATCHERS...again. Because apparently, in my ridiculous mind, my broken toes = a vacation from healthy eating.
I'm such a tool.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of my thighs.
And the pursuit of a smaller ass continues...