This is my scale, Edward.
This is Edward AFTER my Saturday morning Weight Watchers weigh-in.
I know, I know. You have at least TWO.
You're asking yourself, "Is Edward r-e-a-l-l-y wearing a Boston Red Sox hat?"
The answer would be YES.
Both Edward and I are indeed Red Sox fans, even though they suck a lot of the time. Shut up, Yankees fans! And you can keep that has been traitor, Johnny Damon, too!
Calm down, Sally. Calm down.
We love our hometown teams! And like the captain of a large vessel, we always go down with the ship. Well, except for like ONCE every 85 years or some shit. Then, we actually win a World Series or two.
You wanna know how much weight I lost this week. Right?
Well, after sticking to my plan and literally working my freakin ass off, here are my results:
You're not seeing things, people! You're actually looking at SIX FRIGGIN POUNDS. Or like my Weight Watchers leader enthusiastically says, "YAY! THAT'S A FAMILY SIZE PACKAGE OF GROUND CHUCK!"
Anywho, SIX FREAKIN POUNDS! Giddy-up, Muthafugga!
Man. I feel like such a big loser this week.
AND I'M LIKING IT!