Friday, September 3, 2010

Bite Me, Earl.

As y'all might already know, Hurricane Earl is making its way here tonight. Rhode Island (THAT'S ME! YIKES!) and Southeastern Massachusetts will feel its effects in terms of pretty strong winds and maybe three inches of rain. But, for the most part, we've been told that we are dodging a huge bullet. Thank you, Jesus.

In terms of all of the tropical storms and nor'easters that we tend to experience here, I will never understand why New Englanders prepare for them the way they do.

For example, this morning? I stopped at a little grocery store to buy a salad for lunch. As I approached the refrigerated case where the salads were kept, I noticed that the bread shelves were almost empty. Then, just out of curiosity, I made my way over to the coolers to check on the status of the store's MILK SUPPLY. As I expected, those shelves were also looking bare.

What I want to know is, if we lose power---and during bad storms, we often do at my house---WTF would I do with all of that bread and milk?

Seriously.

How many friggin times--during a natural disaster---have you had the EFFIN urge to make french toast? Give me a flippin break.

People need to take a lesson from me and Hubs...because we have common sense. Behold our brilliance:

WHAT THE COSTA'S DID TO PREPARE FOR THAT
A-HOLE, EARL
:

*Hubs and I brought in all of our lawn crap. Because nothing spoils a good storm like a friggin lawn chair crashing through your window.

*We prepared our generator by filling it with fuel (and storing extra fuel). It's not a big generator. But, it's big enough to run our sump pump, some lights, and our high speed Internet. Yes, my friends. EVEN during a storm, I must have access to the web. It's a sickness, people.

*We stocked up on basic necessities. Translation: WINE, SANGRIA, THOSE YUMMY MICHELOB ULTRA FLAVORED BEERS (LIME CACTUS & POMEGRANATE RASPBERRY), VARIOUS SMALL BLOCKS OF CHEESE, CRACKERS, FRENCH BREAD, CHIPS & SALSA, GOOD MELTING CHOCOLATE, A STERNO CAN FOR MY FONDUE POT, MATCHES TO LIGHT THE STERNO CAN, MARSHMALLOWS / POUND CAKE / PRETZELS / STRAWBERRIES...TO DIP IN THE MELTED CHOCOLATE, AND...TUMS

Don't worry about us. I think we'll be okay.

Have a great Labor Day weekend, everybody! Be safe!

OH! And if like me, you're staying home tonight to contend with that MOFO--EARL?

Skype me!

I would just LOVE to virtually share my fondue with you.

I know, I know. I'm just so freakin nice.

6 comments:

Jack Sh*t, Gettin' Fit said...

Sounds like you're stocked up to ride out the storm. Have fun... and fondue!

justme5686 said...

I love that you're not letting the man [storm] keep you down, girl!

Ten Pounds said...

Ooh, wanting fondue now. Good luck.

MB said...

Earl can bite me too! Glad you got the necessities. You would thing we hardy new englanders would be prepared for any emergency. I think I have a half gallon of water and some crackers - we should be all set.

Anonymous said...

Hey Sally:

Just got back from Maine.. Earl is a big queer, he didn't show his face there either.... I thought that I was the only person who had actually tried that Michelob POMEGRANATE RASPBERRY beer....what a great invention! Tastes good!:)

Rapunzel said...

Hey, that's pretty much the way we prepare for storms here in South Florida! Earl? ...yawn... Now, pass the fondue, darlin'!