Dear Center For Disease Control,
Heads up, Dudes.
Recently, I went to visit a client at his office.
As I walked through the building, I happened to glance over through a glass window at the lunchroom, where I saw an electric grill sitting on a table.
Needless to say...
You know that illusive stomach virus that strikes millions of people every year?
The one that gives people belly cramps that makes them cry like babies?
The one that gives people the Hershey Squirts so badly that every time they wipe their asses, they think their anuses are going to explode?
The one that makes people puke themselves silly and leaves them lying in dry heaving masses on their bathroom floors?
You know the one, right?
Yeah, well I think I discovered it's origin. Check this shit out:
I KNOW! GROSS, RIGHT?!
I think you may have the potential to curb an epidemic here! Y'all better call in a Hazmat Team to investigate!
A Concerned And Emotionally Traumatized Citizen
PS. I didn't have the balls to look in the lunchroom's microwave or toaster oven because the last friggin thing that I need is for some freaky ass organism to jump out at me, bite me in the face, and give me Ebola---all in the name of science. Eff that shit.