Friday, January 7, 2011

Superstition

I was going to skip this blog post because my friggin arms are in severe pain (Thank you, Amy Jones!) and it hurts to freakin type. But, I'm taking one for the team and working through it, cuz that's how I roll, dudes.

Okay. So, before we mosey on further through this month, I want to tell you about how I started my new year.

EVERY new year starts the same way. My superstitious Mother (the nearly 80 year old, Portuguese Sophia Petrillo) calls me on New Year's Eve and gives me a list of crap that I HAVE TO DO in order to start the year off right (in her opinion). This year's requests went like this...

NEW YEAR'S EVE...

*RING, RING*

Me: Hello?

Sophia: Sally?

Me: Hi Ma.

Sophia: *insert Portuguese accent here* I calling to tell you to make shuwa (make sure) dat Paul is da first person to walk in your house after midnight! If a lady is the first person to walk in a house in da new year, it's BAD LUCK.

Me: Okay, Ma. I'll make Paul go outside and walk back into the house after midnight.

Sophia: Okay. Make shuwa!

Sally: I will. Bye.

Sophia: Okay, bye.

TWO MINUTES LATER...

*RING, RING*

Me: Hello?

Sophia: Sally?

Me: Yes, Ma?

Sophia: Make shuwa when Paul walks into da house, he puts his right foot first! You wanna start da year on da right foot!

Me: Okay, Ma. Paul will be the FIRST person to walk INTO MY HOUSE on New Year's Day. HE WILL WALK IN WITH HIS RIGHT FOOT FIRST. Is that all?

Sophia: Yeah. Dat's all.

Me: Okay. Bye, Ma.

TWO MINUTES LATER...

*RING, RING*

Hubby: Sal, it's your mother...AGAIN!

Me: For the love of all that is sacred and holy! WHAT NOW?

Me: HELLO?

Sophia: Sally?

Me: YES, MA?!

Sophia: When Paul walks into da house after midnight wid his right foot first, he has to throw money into da house, too.

Me: WHAT?!

Sophia: Foe-a good luck...So you can have a lot of money in da New Year.

Me: YOU'RE MAKING THIS UP NOW!

Sophia: No sir! Dis is true! You betta do it!

Me: OKAY, MA. Paul, A MAN, will be the first person to walk into my house in the new year. He will walk in with his RIGHT FOOT FIRST. AND he will throw money into the house as he is stepping in! You happy now?

Sophia: Yes.

Me: Okay. Bye, Ma.

Sophia: Bye. BUT MAKE SHUWA YOU DO DIS TINGS! Or you not gonna have good luck in da new year! Okay?

Me: ALRIGHTTTTTT! WE'RE DOING IT! I PROMISE! GEEZ!

Sophia: Okay, bye!

Me: Bye!

*CLICK*

Fast forward to the next morning...

Hubs: Okay. So, let me get this straight. I have to be the first person to walk into our house today, or we will have bad luck?

Me: Well, SHE said a MAN. Doesn't necessarily have to be you, I guess. But, you're all we've got. So GET CRACKIN! Oh, and remember to walk in with your right foot first! Oh, AND you have to throw money into the house as you're walking in!

Hubs: Your Mother is making this shit up.

Me: Maybe. But, I'm not taking any friggin chances! So, get your ass outside, Mr. Lucky!

And so he did.....

video

Better be nice to me y'all.

I'll hook you up when I win the BIG ONE.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hubs: Your Mother is making this shit up.

LOL!!!! Sadly she is not. My grandma has done this every year that I've known her (I'm 33). Add to that the new years day meal. Always black eye peas, collard greens and fried chicken. Not sure what the peas are for (no black eyes in the new year?), the greens are for money and the chicken.... well we just like chicken :o)

Anonymous said...

luv it!!!!!! omg I do that (dat to my daughter cause i am superstitious, and my daughters name is sally too!!! I got A good laugh!!!!!!

Hanlie said...

You have to diarize a reminder of this post for the end of the year, so that we can all do this next year!

I had a good laugh, but you never know...