Last night, Hubs and I stopped at a liquor store on our way home, to buy a lottery ticket, BECAUSE last night's Powerball jackpot was a little over $220,000,000. That's TWO HUNDRED TWENTY MILLION MOTHER FRACKING CLAMS. Yee ha!
This morning, as Hubs was sleepily helping me make our bed, I said to him:
Me: I don't even know why we're making the damn bed.
Me: We probably won the lottery, so there's no reason why we should even be up, yet.
Me: No, seriously. WHAT would you do if you found out RIGHT NOW that we REALLY AND TRULY won two hundred twenty million dollars last night? Really...WHAT WOULD YOU DO RIGHT NOW?
Hubs: I would shit on the floor.
Hubs: I don't have to go to the bathroom or anything, but I'd probably be so nervous that I would just shit right here, on the floor.
Me: You just won ALL OF THAT MONEY and the first thing you would do is SHIT on the floor?
Hubs: That's right.
Me: Dude. Millionaires don't go around crapping their pants.
Hubs: I would take my pants off, first.
Me: Well, that makes me feel soooooo much better. You'd take your pants off BEFORE taking a mad dump on the carpet .
Hubs: I'm a millionaire. I'll buy new carpet.
Me: How about you just run to THE CAN? It's only a few feet away.
Hubs: I'm just being honest.
Me: *shaking my head* You're a freak.
Hubs: You love me.
*We didn't win.
*He didn't drop a deuce on the carpet.
*He is weird.