Thursday, November 3, 2011

Like Flies On Poo Poo

Honestly, I really don't understand why weird /crazy/ nasty/ crabbyass people flock to me like hair on soap, but it happens to me ALL OF THE DAMN TIME

Last night, Hubs and I went grocery shopping because the ketchup bottle in our refrigerator was looking quite sad and lonely.  We walked up and down every aisle, we roamed the produce department, we carefully chose our whole grain bread, and after almost two hours, we finally made our way to the checkout line. 

When we got to the front of the store, we realized that there was only one register open besides the express one for people who had twelve items or less.  We quickly took our place in line and waited patiently.  About a minute after getting in the checkout line, an old man got in line behind us.  We noticed that he only had about twenty items in his carriage, so Hubs told him that he could go ahead of us.  He seemed grateful and said, "Thank you."  To which, my husband cheerily responded, "No problem!"

After we let him get in front of us, the old dude placed his groceries on the conveyor.  THEN, he turned around to look at me and asked, "What's becoming of the English language?"

"Excuse me?" I asked.

He continued, "Once upon a time, when a person said THANK YOU, the proper response was YOU'RE WELCOME!  It was NOT---NO PROBLEM!"

Dudes!  Can you even believe that shit?  The nerve of that ornery, little weasel!  My husband happily let him cut the line (because it was a nice thing to do) and in response, he was rude and downright patronizing!

I immediately stepped up. 

I looked him square in his cataract lenses and said, "What's becoming of the human race?!  ONCE UPON A TIME, when somebody did something nice for a person---like let them move to the front of a line---the proper, gracious response would be to express sincere gratitude to them...NOT TO INSULT THEM!"

He gave me a dirty look and turned around to face the front of the line, totally ignoring my response.

For the record,  I really wanted to respond, "HOW ABOUT, BITE ME?!  IS THAT A BETTER RESPONSE, YOU ORNERY LITTLE FUG?!" 

But, I didn't...

Because he was old...

And probably very lonely (no wonder)...

And EVEN I have boundaries....

(Shut up.)

2 comments:

The Path Traveled said...

I'm still laughing! That's what I would have said too! Wonderful post.

Kyle Gershman said...

So...saying "sir, since you'll be dead soon, I guess it doesn't really matter." wouldn't be very neighborly?