Monday, November 7, 2011

Never Look A Gift Whore In The Mouth

Yesterday, I was showered with lame ass gifts by my friends, Linda and Lou.  If you're not familiar with Lou, click here to read all about the jackass him (my sincere apologies, in advance).

Last week, L and L went on vacation to Palm Springs.  I'm so sorry, people of California.  

AND everytime they go on vacation, they bring me CRAP presents.  I know.  I'm soooo lucky. 

Anywho, here's what I got this time....

Okay.  Not bad....except for the fact that it makes me crave chocolate. 
I give it a 7 out of 10 for its cutability factor.  Hmmmm...Cutability?
I think I just invented a word.  You're welcome, Oxford English Dictionary.



Hmmmm.....Would it surprise you to know that I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE these?
Seriously!  When I wear these, I can tell people to FUG
off without actually telling them to FUG off! 
HELLO, personal trainer?!  I'm talkin' to you!
I rate these a 10 out of 10!



Um.  Okay.  I love chocolate.  But, I'm not a fan of anything
that gives me explosive diarrhea AND fireass, simultaneously.
I give this a 2 out of 10...because, really?  Nobody likes
a raw bum bum.



And finally?  They gave me this cool metal fortune cookie for my desk....


Oh, wait!  There's actually a fortune inside! What does it say?!


Hmmmm...The suspense is killing me!  Let's open it together!  Ready? 


Um....yeah....

You're too little-too late, fortune cookie people. 

Thanks for nothing.

1 comment:

Kimberley said...

Lou strikes again! Love, love, love!