Last Thursday night, after a thirteen hour workday, PC and I stopped at a local chain restaurant (which we haven't been to in years) to grab a quick bite to eat. When we walked in the door, the first things we noticed were (A) the INSANELY loud music, (B) someone singing in a voice that would make Simon Cowell want to stab himself in the neck, and (C) a crapload of drunk people.
Yippee, folks! We'd stumbled upon Karaoke Night with the Walmartians!
We thought about leaving. But, because it was so late, we decided that we would just suffer through the music, inhale our food, and get the hell out of there asap. Quickly, we made our way to a table, ordered our food, and commenced our auditory TORTURE.
Dudes? Have you ever wondered, IF when people are singing, they realize that they completely SUCK at it?
Well, wonder no more, people. Because they don't.
Apparently, these karaoke singers thought that having a microphone in their hand made them all that and a bag of friggin chips. Seriously.
We saw sweaty men--singing, bumping, grinding and walking all around the room--flirting with female barflies, a la Elvis Presley.
We saw teenage boys running around, screeching and jumping, and acting all grungy and shit, a la Kurt Cobain.
We even suffered through an older woman's (in her 60's) version of Madonna's, Like a Virgin---which cracked me right the hell up because when she started singing, PC was all, "Give me a break! It's been decades since that woman was a virgin!" Hahaha!
And SHE was the catalyst for THIS conversation....
Me: You should get up and sing a song! That would be soooo funny!
PC: NO WAY.
Me: What if I gave you a hundred bucks?! Would you do it then?
Me: You wouldn't sing a karaoke song for a quick hundred bucks?!
Me: Why not? These people don't even know you! You'll never see them again!
PC: It's not about these people. I could give a crap about these people.
Me: Then, why not?
PC: Why not?! WHYYYY NOTTTTT?!!! I'll tell you WHY NOT! BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE'S ASSES ARE CLEANER THAN THAT MICROPHONE!!!!!!!
Me: Well, alrighty then....