My nephew, Jon (who's ten), spends virtually everyday that he has off from school with me and PC at work. Because I have no idea how the public school schedule runs, I never know he's coming until suddenly, he comes running in the door at about 9:00 am yelling, "WHOO HOO! GUESS WHO'S HERE FOR THE DAY?!!!!"
"Oh, joy." I respond sarcastically and he laughs because he thinks my fake annoyance is just so funny.
On Good Friday, we had a super tight schedule at work, filled with deadlines. So, when Jon came strolling in, I immediately told him that he was going out with me to do errands because Uncle Paul was really busy and he needed to focus on a job.
While we driving to the bank, I noticed that Jon was fiddling around with a band aid on his leg. I asked...
Me: What happened to your leg? Did that bratty dog, Maxie, bite you? (FYI: Maxie, who is an ornery little a-hole, is Jon's Grandma's dog. He bites EVERYBODY who looks at him the wrong way.)
Jon: No. And anyway, I LOVE MAXIE!
Me: You love him? Even though he's so mean?
Jon: Yeah. He's funny. Sometimes, he breaks into Nana's trash and drags it all around the house!
Me: He bites everybody AND makes a mess? He's lucky he's not my dog!
Jon: Why? What would you do?
Me: I'd punish him. Put him in timeout. Lock him in his crate....
Jon: Do you know what today is?
Jon: Did you know that Jesus DIED on this day?
Me: I've heard.
Jon: THEN WHY ARE YOU BEHAVING LIKE THE ROMANS?!!!!
Jon: You're being kind of mean.
Me: If YOU bit people AND trashed your house, wouldn't you get punished?
Jon: *pondering* Um. I guess....
***FAST FORWARD TWO MINUTES***
Jon: I can lick my own armpit. See?! (YEAH, HE DID)
Me: That's just disgusting.
Jon: I know! Hehehehehe...
LESSON OF THE DAY: PUNISHMENT IS TABOO. LICKING ONE'S SWEAT GLANDS, ISN'T.