This morning's conversation with a coworker...
Me: Good morning, J!
J: Good morning.
Me: How was your week off?
J: Meh. Not bad...I went for my yearly physical.
Me: Oh, yeah? Everything go okay?
J: I found a lump in one of my testicles. The doctor sent me for a sonogram.
J: Yep. They told me it was nothing to worry about...just a cyst. But, MAN! I was soooo scared that it was going to be something bad!
Me: Well, look at the bright side....not only are you totally fine, BUT YOU ALSO GOT A STRANGE LADY TO FONDLE YOUR NUTSACK. That's what you call a "win-win."
J: *blank stare*
Me: I know, I know...I always know the right thing to say. It's a wonder more people aren't trying to be my friend.
J: It's a wonder, alright.