Tuesday, October 2, 2012

We Have Health Insurance. Go Buy Glasses.

The following is a recent conversation that I had with PC.  I didn't stab him in the process.  Thanks be to God.

PC:  We're out of toothpaste.

Me:  No, we're not.

PC:  Yes, we are.

Me:  No, we're not.

PC:  This morning, I had to slice the Crest tube open with a razor blade so I could scrape out enough paste to brush my teeth.

Me:  There's toothpaste upstairs in the bathroom closet.

PC:  No, there isn't.

Me:  Yes, there is.

PC:  I looked there.  There's none.

Me:  Seriously.  There's like a shitload of toothpaste up there.

PC:  I'm not going to argue with you, BUT?  I don't think so.

Me:  DUDE....YES.THERE.IS.  I PUT IT THERE. 

PC:  You THINK you put it there.

Me:  You're patronizing me.  That's kind of like not valuing your life.

PC:  I told my father about how I had to cut the toothpaste tube open with a razor blade.  He thought it was funny!  Hahaha...

Me:  The hell, dude?  Why d'you tell him that?  He's going to think that we live like animals and that I'm a bad wife! 

PC:  WHAT?!  It's funny!

Me:  You're blind.  Nothing funny about that, Chump.

Later that night, when we got home from work, I dragged his ass upstairs to look in the bathroom closet.  THIS is what we saw, people....

If Honey Boo Boo's father had this much toothpaste in the house,
he'd probably still have teeth, y'all.

 I accept your apology, Oh Ye of Selective Vision.








8 comments:

Tracey Jones said...

How was I not following your blog??

& you reminded me that I need to go hoard toothpaste...stock is running low.

Sally said...

Welcome, Tracey Jones!

Karenne said...

Sally,
As you may know from the Facebook wall, my mother recently became a quadriplegic. I have been trying to find reasons to smile because I don't want to get depressed while trying to be an advocate for my mother's care. You just made me smile and laugh out loud! Thanks, Sally. I needed it.

Karenne said...

Sally,
As you may know from the Facebook wall, my mother recently became a quadriplegic. I have been trying to find reasons to smile because I don't want to get depressed while trying to be an advocate for my mother's care. You just made me smile and laugh out loud! Thanks, Sally. I needed it.

Sally said...

Karenne, I heard about your Mom. I'm so sorry. Please know that you're in my thoughts and prayers....

PollywogMom said...

I've never commented before but have been following for a while. But this one SLAYED me. Is this a complete man trait or what? My husband can't see anything that is directly in front of his face. Ever.

Sally said...

Welcome, Polly! And...You are correct. It is absolutely a man trait :)

Natasha Kingston said...

OMG. I have this exact conversation like, six times a week. I swear to god, wtf is with these dudes? How do they make it through the day without bumping into walls?