Tuesday, October 2, 2012

We Have Health Insurance. Go Buy Glasses.

The following is a recent conversation that I had with PC.  I didn't stab him in the process.  Thanks be to God.

PC:  We're out of toothpaste.

Me:  No, we're not.

PC:  Yes, we are.

Me:  No, we're not.

PC:  This morning, I had to slice the Crest tube open with a razor blade so I could scrape out enough paste to brush my teeth.

Me:  There's toothpaste upstairs in the bathroom closet.

PC:  No, there isn't.

Me:  Yes, there is.

PC:  I looked there.  There's none.

Me:  Seriously.  There's like a shitload of toothpaste up there.

PC:  I'm not going to argue with you, BUT?  I don't think so.

Me:  DUDE....YES.THERE.IS.  I PUT IT THERE. 

PC:  You THINK you put it there.

Me:  You're patronizing me.  That's kind of like not valuing your life.

PC:  I told my father about how I had to cut the toothpaste tube open with a razor blade.  He thought it was funny!  Hahaha...

Me:  The hell, dude?  Why d'you tell him that?  He's going to think that we live like animals and that I'm a bad wife! 

PC:  WHAT?!  It's funny!

Me:  You're blind.  Nothing funny about that, Chump.

Later that night, when we got home from work, I dragged his ass upstairs to look in the bathroom closet.  THIS is what we saw, people....

If Honey Boo Boo's father had this much toothpaste in the house,
he'd probably still have teeth, y'all.

 I accept your apology, Oh Ye of Selective Vision.