Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Like Hair On Soap

I've got some good news AND some bad news.

Today, I'm announcing the winners of my give-a-way!  Whoo hoo!

But not before making you sit through a most uncomfortable blog update. 

Before I begin, put your Cheerios down.  I'd rather not get blamed for you barfing your milk all over your keyboard. 

So, a few weeks ago, someone who I am friends with on Facebook, tagged me in the following picture and asked, "Hey, Sally?  Is this your friend, Lou?"  Mind you, this woman has NEVER, ever met Lou in person.  She has only read about him on this blog.

Hmm....Is it or isn't it?  You be the judge.
 
After analyzing the above picture for an entire two seconds, I responded, "Uh....I think we both know it's entirely possible." After all, we all know that he loves to flaunt his bits in public...

"The Real Lou"
He wasn't wearing undergarments.
 I'm still in therapy.
Plus?  He WAS in California recently.  I wouldn't put it past him to wander all about the West Coast flaunting his San Francisco Treats.  I just thank Jesus that if it was him, I wasn't there to see that shit in person (FYI...He says it's not him).

This reminds me.....To all of you sickos who have asked about him?  Lou is just fine.  And he's still a total pain in my ass. 

As a matter of fact, you are not going to believe what he did, y'all.  This is BIG TIME.

Lou used to tell me (all the time) that he couldn't understand why I lived in Rhode Island.  Then he'd make his case against the Ocean State by pointing out that the politics are corrupt,  the taxes are high, and the people there are really eccentric (Read:  Nuts).

But THEN?  What did he do?

Out of the clear blue friggin sky, he sold his house in Massachusetts AND bought a condo in Rhode Island. 

BUT WAIT!  THERE'S MORE! 

Not only did he move to Rhode Island, which incidentally is made up of 39 cities and towns, y'all.  But, he moved to MY town.  He now lives ten effin minutes from my front door.  Clearly, karma hates me.

BUT WAIT!  THERE'S EVEN MORE!

During his lengthy moving process, Lou decided that he wanted a fresh start in his new home.  So, he bought all new furniture for his schmancy condo, and gave away most of the fine furnishings that were in his old house (to family and friends).  He gave away bedroom sets, dining room furniture, deck furniture, appliances, decorative items, living room furniture, paintings, dishes, clothing, and a whole lot of other really neat stuff

Then, one day he came to my work and was all, "Linda and I are giving away a bazillion dollars worth of our shit and we'd like you to have this."


WTF?
Just what I always wanted....a nasty-ass, torso-less, potato-head doll.  

Contain your envy, people.

********************************************************
Anywho, on to the good news!

The winners of the personalized *Not for Stabbing Knives (chosen by a random number generator) are...

*Commenter # 4---Laura Runs A Latte
*Commenter #6---The Path Traveled
*Commenter #14---AZ Gypsie

Congratulations, Peeps!  Please email me with your contact information to claim your prizes!



























3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I literally just laughed out loud.....and trust me its been a while.Thanks! Congratulations to the winners of the fabulously sharp knife!- Julia

Laura Runs a Latte said...

Hahahaha! Lou sounds like he could be one of my wacky relatives! Too funny! And OMG I can't believe I won!!! Yippee!

Anonymous said...

I have been wondering about Lou...I am so happy that he lives closer to you...hopefully this means more Lou stories! I still love him!

Kimberley